Jordan Penner's Guatemalan blog

Blog moving.

2010-04-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody, there was no way for me to reconcile the title of this blog, with keeping a blog here in Rosedale, Kansas City, so I have not kept it up.

However, It turns out that here in KC, I work as a Mennonite Voluntary Service worker in a community development organization, so it actually makes sense for me, partially as part of my work, to start a blog about what it is like to live in this community. It is unlikely to happen, but it is possible that the blog could become something that members of the community latch and that can help change the image of Rosedale within Kansas City.

So the blog won't be purely about my personal life here in KC, but also about the life of the community.

So I am going to try this and we'll see what happens. the new blog is here:

http://liverosedale.blogspot.com/

it is tiled at the moment Live Rosedale (KC)

if this blog actually were successful, then I would turn it over to the next MVS worker when the time comes.

Why I Used to Live in 1998,

2009-12-15T15:59:00.000-08:00

even when it was 2008.

On the occasion of me joining Facebook and recently getting my first American cell-phone, I thought it would be a good idea to restart up another form of social media- my blog. I'll have to think of a new name, but I think about that later.

So anyways, on the occasion of me getting Facebook, here is something I wrote a while back about all the reasons that I can be a Facebook hater.

I hope this isn't too vindictive, but just remember, there is a reason that I am on Facebook now, and that is that it also offers lots of cool/useful functions. So useful that every business and NGO nowadas has to have one.

"WHY I’M LIVING IN 1998

I live-happily-without either a cell phone or a facebook account. I will grant that both of these things have definite positives that no one can deny, but the longer I spend without these conveniences and the smaller the minority of college students without them becomes, the more I become convinced that they are having very serious, and negative, social effects that we have failed to notice.

A lot of my views on communication were formed during my semester abroad in Ecuador. While in Ecuador, I watched as friends of mine seemingly spent their life waiting in anticipation for the next email or facebook message from home. After the brief period of joy that apparently always accompanies the message, “Hey Lucy! Was thinking of you! Hope everything is going great!” my friends were forced to go back to **gasp** the real world.

My American friends in Ecuador were maddeningly obsessed with facebook. To me, this long distance communication was basically substanceless, like cotton-candy, as Staley lecturer Shane Hipps called it. More importantly, this substanceless communication had the tendency to pluck ones thoughts away from the present and into the past. It felt like the ease of this long distance communication was taking away from our experience in Ecuador. It was way too easy (even for me) to, in effect, stay at home, rather than engaging in what was right before our eyes: Ecuador and our new group of friends-two things for which, even without the distraction of facebook, one semester was not nearly enough time.

Far more troubling, however, than the way in which facebook and cell phones can keep us insulated from a challenging world, is the insecurity that I think rampant use of facebook and cell phones can create. I have come to the conclusion that extreme use of cell phones and facebook is an indication of, and an ineffectual stopgap for, our own insecurity.

Maybe it is just that I value my time alone more than other people, but when I constantly see people walking to and from class on their cell phones, texting in class, and basically filling up any downtime with their cell phones, it makes me wonder if we all have just become afraid to be alone.

Along with other emotions (like sadness and discontentment) I think our society is teaching us that being alone and bored is simply not acceptable. If you are feeling alone, you must be a loser and not have any friends. You have to have your cell phone at the ready to prove to yourself that, should things not be super exciting where you are, a friend of yours is there to keep you company. We end up living our lives trying to figure out where we could be having the most fun or being the most productive instead of making the most of our current situation.

Egregious use of cell phones also reveals insecurity in our friendships. Why do parents buy their high-school kids cell-phones: because they don’t trust them and want to be able to keep tabs on them. Now I know most of you aren’t calling your friends or significant others because you don’t trust them, but this aspect of keeping tabs is defiantly there.

Constantly checking up to see “what’s going on,” sounds a lot to me like, “you’re not doing anything without me are you?” As if friends doing something without you means you are suddenly not friends. It is simply not true. I think true friendships would allow space for our friends to fully engage in their current surroundings.
Maybe without cell phones we would all be a little bit better at making new friends, or simply enjoying the company of strangers. Texting, short phone calls, and most certainly facebook surfing can be a fruitless way of hiding our insecurity from ourselves.

I know cell phones and facebook are not going away, and one day I myself might find myself with one or both. However, I think we should all take a moment to make sure that these new technologies are not, in fact, hindering our social interactions by limiting our ability to engage our present surroundings and fostering insecurity in our relationships."

I´ve been away

2009-07-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Team meetings, Livingston. lot´s of fun. 4 or 5 days
visiting students in their communities. Awesome and reewarding.6 days
traveling with Jenny. lots of fun. week, two weekends.

now I am finishing up, doing my final reports and enjoying as much as I can my last days at school, at home, and with Jenny before we go to seperate countries... again.

Jordan

Host Famly part. 3: Carmela

2009-06-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

Carmela: Host mom, some 40 years old. A leader of the women at the church. As a mother she has to spend a lot of time in the oftentimes smoky kitchen, making tortillas over the wood fire (which she sometimes does to the beat of a song), but when you are in the kitchen with her, she is a fun person to talk with. She is not as much of a jokester as Matias, but she also laughs rather easily and is easier to have a sustained conversation with. I have had some very fun chats with her in the kitchen. Along with normal cooking duties, she also sometimes has to chop wood into smaller pieces sometimes too. She is very dedicated to the church, very confident in God and his work on earth, and she is an extremely good prayer. I have watched her launch brooms like spears at ducks and chickens in part of the never ending battle to keep them out of the kitchen.

Jordan

Memory and coming to terms with the end

2009-06-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have always known that one year sounded short, even if at times it defiantly felt long. But about a month ago MCC sent us information on preparing to come home, two days ago I sat in one of my favorite places in Cobán, drinking a strong mixture of some of the best coffees in Alta Verapaz (famous for it´s coffee fincas) along with cake and surrounded by beautiful and rare orchids and wrote a list of things I should still try to do, personal and work related, and then sat down to writing what might serve as my toast to Elijah at his and Sina´s stateside wedding reception. Beginning to prepare for something outside of Guatemala is probably the most notable sign that soon I will leave.

I still have a month and a half, but the middle part of that month and a half will be taken up by travel with MCC, travel to visit some students, and then travel with Jenny. And the months have been passing by flying. May past by as fast as its´ frequent afternoon showers come and go. One losses himself in the overwhelming power of the rain and thunder, and in a few hours, its´ chaos seems like a strange dream.
Yesterday I went running along a little route along a river. The river is bigger and faster, and if possible, maybe even a little bit greener than the last time I ran along it. I ran past recently seeded corn fields, hills that have been replanted with trees, and a group of women or two doing their washing. There was a beautiful light sprinkle perfect for running, but I did not push myself but went slowly and enjoyed my solitude on the small path which sometimes is simply the path that a water line going to Carchá follows. I wondered what this place will look like in my memory. Memory lies, but I think in the case of a traveler, photography is the bigger culprit. I thought as I ran that it would be nice if I could have my camera along, but I am sure that I would take no picture that would be satisfactory. At the same time that I don´t trust my camera to capture what I see, I also know that I need to take some more pictures, and fast, of my host family and students at Bezaleel. It really is too bad that here people do not smile for pictures. Even the people who otherwise seem to not be able to stop smiling and laughing, will turn dead serious for a photo.

Thankfully, in my memory, they will be smiling. And in my memory, the river I run along side will still look like melted jade. And the water from the spring at the end of the run will be sweeter than I can describe. In my memory, my host mom will be looking down at me, while in my photo I´ll be head and shoulders above her.

Photos really are such liars.

Jordan

GIVE ME MY MONEY, HOLLISTER

2009-06-03T13:36:00.000-07:00

I see all these Hollister “CALIFORNIA” shirts around here in Guatemala and I have to wonder where Hollister gets off selling me so shamelessly. Where did it find the audacity? I was born and raised in California. I am a living part of the legend that Hollister so shamelessly uses to sell it´s T-shirts. I have even visited other states, Europe, South America, and now Guatemala, in effect, spreading the coolness and popularity of California all around the world. When people ask me where I am from, I don´t say the United States, I say, California.

And now Hollister is taking the name California all around the world (right into the lonely Guatemala mountains), printing it on T-shirts and in the process turning what was once cool about California into factory produced lameness. Who gave Hollister the right to make the name California synonymous with preppy, act like I am too cool for school, pretend to be rebellious high schoolers with nothing better to do but shop in malls for shirts that are too tight. I feel like Snoop Dogg and every rap enthusiast in Los Angeles must have felt when the author of “Gin and Juice” went on to sell “Big Macs and Apple Pie” at that wonderful joint, McDonalds.

Betrayed. We can only hope that the people from Hollister are a bit more ashamed than Snoop Dogg was.

At least anybody who has to pay bills can understand Snoop Doggs selling out, but I don´t see a fat wad of money in MY pocket.

That´s right. Betrayed once again by shameless business practices. Hollister is stealing. Not only are they not giving me and my friends from California the money that we deserve, they are doing something far worse: They are stealing my identity. How am I supposed to continue saying that I am from California when hearing the name fires of the same synapses in peoples brains as those ugly little letters, “AF.”
Hollister is, metaphorically speaking, doing the same thing that Canadian gold companies are doing in Guatemala. That is ripping apart mountains, contaminating water, and paying small wages in exchange for gold being sold around the world. Myself and other Californians are the gold being sold around the world, and it is our souls that are being ripped apart.

Obama, your governmental regulations on business practices are not nearly tough enough. I want money for property damage. Essentially Hollister is lowering the value of all California property. I want money for the time I spend with a shrink trying to find a new identity for myself that isn´t bottled up and plastered onto high school boys chests. I want Holister charged for identity theft, and I want them to pay. I want a shirt that says, I am California, and I hate Hollister.

Jordan

Ps. I used to have no answer to fellow students in Kansas when they would ask me why I decided to move (in a baffled tone of voice). Now I do… and it is written on thousands of 20 dollar shirts.

Host Fam part 2: Matias

2009-05-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Matias: host dad, 40 some years old. Works hard everyday either with his construction job or on a house which the family is building for one of their children. Matias loves to joke around and is also very energetic. Every other Sunday he leads a sort of pre-service Sunday school. Often times he comes home from work and we shake hands while we talk about our day and how we are. I have gotten way better at shaking hands since I have been here in Guatemala (one usually shakes everybody´s hand in a room when he walks in, and handshakes can last a long time. He has a slight. Once I turned around in the bath house to see him in the chicken pen holding one limp rooster and using it to attack another rooster, I watched for about five minutes and I think it was as much for the fun of it as to make the one that was getting beaten to stop attacking the one that my host father was using to beat it up. He eats his food fast and then drinks his glass of tea in about five seconds flat, leans back and lets out a long “wwwoooooww” wipes his mouth and moves onto the next activity. He is always concerned for my well being. Sometimes he will grab his nephews, and hold them very clothes, cheek to cheek, for fairly long periods of time.

Jordan

ps. and I also had a very fun trip following Dave Janzen around the mountains surrounding Nebaj. Rachel and friends were also along for the fun.

The Political Crisis in Guatemala:

2009-05-20T14:59:00.000-07:00

The normal: Impunity, crime, corruption. The judicial system desperately needs to be fixed. On the one hand, way more police are needed, but on the other hand, law enforcement itself is quite corrupt. While in Mexico big name drug traffickers are lined up in front of huge arsenals of weapons after they are caught, in Guatemala you read about arms being stolen from the police. The absolute lack of police enforcement in some rural areas has brought the return of community justice (beatings, burnings, etc). The congress cannot pass a desperately needed fiscal reform bill.

The new: Recently a Harvard and Cambridge educated lawyer filmed a video message three days in anticipation of his assassination blaming his future assassination on high ranking bank officials in cahoots with drug traffickers and the president and the presidents wife himself. His client and client´s daughter were earlier assassinated. The lawyers claim is that Banrural, the biggest bank in Guatemala, takes money from drug traffickers and cleans it… the banks´ other biggest client, the government, stands idly by. Documents have been produced showing apparent anxiety by the Presidents personal secretary about the lawyers client. The president claims that this is the latest act of a long campaign by drug traffickers and others unsympathetic with the leftist government to destabilize his government. When I first got here the president was just finding out that he was being spied on. Now some hopefully impartial organizations such as an organization set up by the UN will be investigating the claims made by the deceased lawyer.

Anyways thousands have taken to streets to protest and call for the resignation of the president. Today the government organized a protest in support, but the paper here ran an article saying that the participation in this march wouldn´t be quite as voluntary as the other. On the other hand, the paper is a city paper, and I hear that the president did better in rural areas, and the support for the counter rally apparently came from people outside of the city.

Colom is moderately liberal and those of us here working on social justice have had hope that he could make changes that would force the government to serve those that it has never served: the huge rural population of Guatemala that constitutes the “other Guatemala.” But what good is a golden head on a broken body? What could Colom do anyway if the legislative and judicial bodies are so screwed up?

This is why education is so important. Good education not only creates a more adept workforce but creates a more self-conscious public that has the skills and the confidence to demand, no require, better governance. Schools like Bezaleel can and are creating competent individuals who dream of a better Guatemala, and who simply through their quality of character will make a more just Guatemala.

On a lighter note a few weeks ago the paper ran an article on a town that said it was being terrorized by the spirit of a dead person some kids and unwittingly dug up. The author also noted that members of the reporting team also experienced some kind of supernatural event.

Jordan

ps. speaking of education, I hear that CA is going to have to make cuts on education. That seems dumb...

My host family part 1

2009-05-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

Selbil: Little brother of 17 years. Energetic and chistoso, he smiles and laughs rather easily. He is in an accounting program in Cobán, where he attends everyday wearing the obligatory nice pants, nice shoes, button up tucked in shirt, hair about as long as it is allowed. He calls me “cushO” (I am spelling it how it sounds) and sometimes attacks my shoulders like Rusty Moyer when he is giving someone a “massage.” He is a good soccer player. Besides playing soccer he likes to attack our little cousin, the lovable “pescadito” (little fish). Unlike many young people, Selbil does not dream of leaving for the states, but realizes that there are possibilities here in Guatemala and that his friends and the people of his community are truly important for him. He goes to church every Saturday and Sunday, prays before meals, and wonders aloud about theological problems such as homosexuality. Selbil is very easy to get along with and I am thankful for how he reached out to me from the very beginning.

My previous post

2009-05-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

was entitled "evil spirits?"...

and it seems to have dissappeared

dun dun duuuuuuuunnn!!!

sorry,
Jordan

ps. I have fond memories of watching old episodes of "the twilight zone" my freshman year of college. The one with the miniature "aliens" totally fooled me. If I could remember the opening monologue, I´d write it, but I guess I am not that big of a nerd after all.

Reflections from Feb. 26

2009-05-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

Reflections 2-26
The hardest part about being in Guatemala has been, without a question, dealing with missing what I left behind. I am happy to say that for the most part I haven´t let the conspicuous absence of all the people I ever cared about during the first 22 years of my life ever, really, bring me down. I am basically writing this because of some recent conversations by email or chat (for once I let myself use internet without rushing myself to finish everything in 30 minutes) with college friends about dealing with not being so physically close to so many of our friends. It seems to be something that all of us have trouble with upon graduating and going on to something else.

I deal with that too, but fortunately going to Guatemala has distracted me quite enough to not to feel too nostalgic about all that stuff. I defiantly do spend some time just being nostalgic, or thinking about seeing people when I get home, but I think for the most part that this has been healthy. As planned, being in such a different place has given me a lot of other things to think about besides what I am missing back home. I am generally content, usually happy… and every now and then, things are something approaching glorious- lets say I am walking the 6k home, there is a beautiful yellow glow on endless green hills, there is a only distant human made noise, and one can hear different bugs and birds calling, and a good song stuck in my head… !calidad! (quality).

I miss the people and the easy social life that I lived back home. The comfort of knowing exactly what my role was. Being confident that I said the right thing. All those things are just harder living in a different culture.

On the other hand, in the absence of these things I have been able to accept the biggest gift that I think Guatemala will give me. That is the gift of showing me a new ways to live. I have found that I can be pretty flexible. From new things to eat, to new ways to bathe, to new ways of greeting people, I have become accustomed to a new kind of lifestyle, and I hope that I will be able to apply some of these things to my life back home. I think of the song A New Way to be Human, by Switchfoot, though song is talking about less material ways of changing and deeper, more profound ways we can change. It is possible I have changed in more profound ways too, but I doubt I would have realized that yet.

Sometimes having as much free time without much to do as I do in the evenings is a little bit frustrating, but mostly I have been very happy to read a lot, get plenty of sleep, listen to whole albums straight without interruption, or just lie down and think. While the work I do is focused on helping others, I also have plenty of time to just be quiet, to listen… I think of how somewhere the Bible says ¨be still and know that I am Lord.¨ These are all luxuries that I did not really have in the hectic college life, and I am making sure to enjoy it. I think my life hear has been very healthy. Very healthy in some ways that college is, perhaps, a little unhealthy.

Jordan

My work, as succinctly as possible. (for the actually succinct version, scroll to the postpostscript.)

2009-05-02T17:33:00.001-07:00

WHAT IS BEZALEEL?

I work at a school, Bezaleel, that has about160 boarding students. The grade level is equivalent to middle school and highschool. We are located in a beautiful little valley just outside of a small town called Chamelco which most people describe as tranquilo. The school was started about 10 years ago because of a call from Mennonite Churches in Alta Verapaz for better education for their children. Eastern Mennonite Missions, which evangelized and has had a continued presence here in Guatemala provided and continues to provide lots of support with workers (long and short term), money, and materials was instrumental in creating Bezaleel. A successful Mennonite colony in Belize also provided lots of support. MCC, in collaboration with Fundameno (an organization like MCC for the Mennonite churches of Alta Verapaz) also provided support for the building of Bezaleel. Obviously all of the churches and Mennontites of Alta Verapaz were instrumental in the building of Bezaleel also.

BACKROUND: STUDENT´S SITUATION, WHY BEZALEEL IS IMPORTANT, AND CHALLENGES

Throughout Latin American indigenous peoples live on an unequal footing with the dominant Latino culture. Right now, Bolivia is becoming a possible exception with the leadership of the first indigenous president in Latin America, Evo Morales and an organized indigenous political movement. Guatemala, however, is not an exception to the rule. Small Q´eqchi´ communities simply do not get the education that they have a right to. Bezaleel, supported by funds from generous Mennonites represented by EMM, provides a relatively cheap (families pay about 1/8 of the cost to attend along with a donation of corn) option for students who want to continue their education.

Bezaleel faces many challenges in properly educating the students. Many students arrive at Bezaleel ill prepared by the primary classes they received. Many of their parents do not know how to read or right and so cannot educate their students themselves. Smaller communities often do not see the benefits of education. There is little access to reading material, Q´ekchi´ is most of the students mother tongue, making classes in Spanish difficult.

WHAT I DO (ON THE OCCASION THAT THINGS ARE NORMAL AT BEZALEEL)

I work in the library (7:30-4/5) and am available to help students with their work at any time. Students have become more and more comfortable with asking me for help, though often times, I think, they do not ask for help because the do not realize they need it, or do not care.

A typical conversation is this

What are you doing? “work” well, what are you working on “science” But what are you doing “copying” or “a project” well, what are you learning “saber profe” (who knows teacher).

And at that point I can usually get the kid to talk about the little bit that he understands and explain concepts or words that he or she does not know. Maybe that is not very different from a conversation with anyone of their age, but it can still be a bit frustrating. Tutoring in this manner is my normal work. I also do quite a bit of just chatting with students and try to mentor some of them a little bit and am always trying to turn conversations educational in someway. Sometimes kids are super interested in worldly things that I can explain that they had no idea about, and sometimes I don´t do a good job and a glazed look comes over the students eyes.

I also work with a few advanced students with English, though this happens with frustrating irregularity (though at the moment with more regularity). I also often bring the daily paper to school and through this have the opportunity to talk to the kids about current events and encourage critical thinking which is generally lacking. I work with a small group with which once a week (in theory) we read an advanced article on a theme that together we have decided on (we have read about Evo Morales, Fidel Castro, the current economic crisis, water issues on Latin Americaa, and sustainable development) the next will be about Rigoberta Menchua or mining in Guatemala. I am not trying to form students into a certain political ideology, I want them to be more aware of the world around them and to learn to understand and think critically about what they read. I am also just starting a program to read short stories with younger students who need the Spanish practice and work at understanding and looking a little bit more in depth in what they read (this actually may be about as dead as it is new). And finally, after urging a couple math teachers, they have told students that they need to seek my math help, and that has happened (yay!, large square root problems all over again!!) The problem with all of this has been, how frustratingly hard it is to find times that work for people. The school sometimes constantly seems to have special events which pulls kids out of class and has them working on less (traditionally speaking) educational projects. Probably the biggest difference I have made with students at the school is developing a bit more of curiousity in some of the students… I just hope that that continues to be cultivated at Bezaleel and afterwards. OH yeah, and I come in Saturdays, usually along with a helpful YES team member or two and open the computer lab for students to work on projects and continue learning to use computers. I just help when they can´t figure something out. These Saturday´s are fun and relaxing.

I have a few other ideas I have thought about trying, but we´ll see what happens.

On top of it all, I feel I am very much loved at the school and have developed good relationships with many students that I think will leave a lasting positive affect.

Ok, I said succinct, and this might be as good as it gets.

Jordan

Ps. Coming soon: a portrait of my wonderful host family.

Pps. This is a succinct version of what I do: if you have seen the movie I heart Huckabees I am like the fireman (Marky Mark) yelling at his daughter as he is being pulled away from her “never stop asking questions… never stop asking questions!!!” except that I am not THAT funny, or that crude, but I am constantly asking students to think just a little bit more about what they are doing. Maybe you could call me Marky Marcos. I go by Marcos here, or “cush” in kekchi. Or cusho o cushito.

Semana Santa Pictures

2009-04-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

soccer field in the small town by the caves "muc´bil ha´" (Hidden water). Here I had a nice conversation with a man by the town.

I like this picture.

At Tikal. Spectacular.

host cousin Maynor, host brother Selbil, and closest, cousin Marvin. We went swimming two or three times in this pristine river near where we live. Now I like to takes runs along the river, though I am a little afraid of snakes.

don´t worry my "what I do" post is coming soon.

Jordan

Questions

2009-04-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

A few questions I was puzzling over the other day.

If WalMart had started out as a do-good NGO with the purpose of providing food and other household projects at a cheaper price while freeing up their time by reducing shopping time, would we consider it today a hugely successful attempt to help and attend to the needs of ordinary people?

And secondly, if WalMart had really started out with high minded intentions, would it have been nearly as successful as it is today. Instead of a hugely successful capitalist enterprise, would we think of it as a being disturbingly communist-like in its huge big-blockness, destruction of individuality (especially with its destruction of small businesses), and its big picture central planning. And instead of having hordes of minimum wage workers, would it maximize its efficiency with smiling volunteers, knocking down prices everyday.

If washers and dryers had been taken up as a cause by womens liberation groups to free women from having to slave away hand washing clothes, would anybody today be using them? Or would whatever organization have handed out a few thousand and found that then, most women wouldn´t except washers and dryers, being something that they didn´t need, and therefore unable to accept as a hand out.

Why don{t most large businesses "have a heart"? And more importantly, why don{t we demand that businesses have a heart?

Any comments or emails on these questions would be greatly appreciated,

Jordan

And for the record, I try to avoid WalMart, but maybe that is just because I have enough money to afford disdain for it.

Ps. I already have written a post on what I actually do here, so look for that soon.

me at "hidden water." Looking cool. I finally found a cord and got some pictues onto my USB, so I´ll also probably post some more pictures soon.

Thoughts from Guatemala

2009-04-18T07:07:00.000-07:00

I just read in a Spanish paper (El Pais) about Obama´s announced plan to build high speed rail roads in the US and I am super excited about it. We have all been waiting for one in California for a long time. I just hope that it stops in Fresno. But maybe I am just being selfish. I never had a model train, built a train, or have any cualifications for being a train enthusiast, but I have always held a romantic view of train travel. Even the brutal Newton to LA route holds a place slightly mushy space in my heart. Besides Imagine not having to deal with traffic coming into SF or LA.Imagine getting there faster than ever. Ok Ok, obviously in some ways train travel isn´t as convenient as car travel, but, especially if the city you arive at has a good public transportation system, I think it would work out great.

Obama just had talks with Mexico about drug trafficking.

Not long ago the Mexican president (Calderón) said somemthing to the effect of the United States being to blame for drug trafficking and all the violence it brings along with it, because all the demand comes from the United States. At first I agreed pretty whole heartedly with the Mexican President. The United States certainly can´t ignore the fact that drug trafficking wouldn´t exist if we weren´t such a lucrative market for ilegal drugs. Upon further reflection though, I thought, you know, supply and demand is a two way street, supply can cause demand, and demand can cause supply. And we are talking about chemically addictive (that is except for marijuana) drugs here. The larger the supply, the easier it is to get more people hooked and thus create more demand. Remember the Opium War… a Little something about England calling for FREE TRADE with China (to sell opium), China being upset about England selling their people opium, a short war, and China ending up divided between many western powers. Is the Opium war China´s fault now?? Those silly Chinese and their protecthinist ways **tisk tisk**.

Speaking of free trade, I a reading about Africa right now. England opened up Africa in the name of eradicating slavery, starting comercial enterprises (most important), bringing in Christianity, and civilizing the natives. They thought of it as a rightous effort… but free trade ended with European domination that had Africans in virtual slavery anyways. Destroying trees in order to obtain rubber and killing elephants for tusks. The current author I am reading, does little to talk about these failures of the righteous efforts of Europeans.

Back to today. I just read a Little article with some students (An advanced group with which I will read advanced news articles) about water in Latin America. Not long ago countries such as Argentina, Uruguay, and Bolivia tried out privatizing water, and the results were not good.

Not to get on an violently anti free trade kick or anything.

With the students, I stressed that I felt that these examples showed us that we should always be on the lookout that business organizations (especially big ones) are not being destructive, but are being productive and providing some kind of service to others. There are examples of mining companies in Guatemala and the rest of Latin America that destroy local wildlife (uglify, if you will), use up poisen local water supplies, provide only a few jobs, and sell gold or whatever material it is northward. So it doesn´t work out very well for Guatemalans.

But how did my original idea of a post which had a the idea of ¨let´s not just blame America and the west¨suddenly take a turn the other direction???

Maybe that is just easier (I could still go on),

Not that that does not make it incorrect,

Jordan

ps. I have got a couple of blog posts I have already written that will be coming soon! Puzzling questions. And finally, a post on what I actually do!! oh yeah, and some pictures once somebody lets me borrow their cable.

A hasty review of my Semana Santa

2009-04-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

Saturday I stayed home and went with my host younger brother (Selbil) and two host cousins (Marvin and “pescado”) to Las Islas, which is a natural pool in the river that flows through carchá. El pescado (fish)… as we said is not a very good pescado. He does not know how to swim. So we tried to teach him a little bit, but mostly he enjoyed standing in shallow parts and sliding down a slide where I would catch him before he went under water. It was a lot of fun and charming to have such fun with the pescado. I actually don´t know his real name. My host mom said that yestday, the day I returned, he kept asking about when I would get home.

So anyways, Sunday morning I left home early and passed by a Catholic procession on my way to the bus station. I got to Coban and ran to catch a microbus that was heading in the right direction. I got dropped off at a place called “mucbilha´” which is “hidden water” in Kekchi. It is a community run tourism thing. I got a tour through two huge caves and after lunch went back to one of them and had a lot of fun being on my own at the entrance to a huge cave with a stream coming out of it taking pictures and making noises or singing into the dark cavern. I visited the small community next door, 60 families strong, and hung out with a guy there looking at the tiny Catholic church. The have a large soccer field with horses and a bull grazing, and goals made of round wooden posts. You can´t reach the village by car and the area is protected so you are surrounded unmolested forest.

I left early in the morning, hitched a quick ride to a crossroads where I got on another microbus to Sayaché, crossed the river by boat, and got on another bus to Flores. Floresis the closest town to Tikal (ancient Mayan pyramids). Flores is an island in the center of a lake, a very cool tourists spot with lots of restaurants along the shore. It is also much cooler because of the lake (literally cooler I mean, Flores is in the Peten which is a terribly hot place, like Cambodia with its humidity). I ate at the side of the road in St Elena, the surrounding town, visited flores for just a bit and then hopped on a bus to Tikal. There I got into the park after being usuccessful at finding a place to stay (because of people with bad directions). There I walked about35 minutes to the tallest tower where there was a group gathered to watch the sun go down. Despite some annoying French girls, it was nice.

The pyramids are spectacular, so tall and steep. It is quite amazing.

I went back and found where I meant to stay, and rented a tent for the night. I bought an orange juice and then a watermelon juice and then 1.5 liters of water to try to satisfy my thirst. My main source of water earlier had been just a bag of mangos I had bought. I think these were the principal cause of the stomach problems I had this night. I made three trips to the bathroom before I took on of my magic pills I have had in my little green bag since I bought it. The next day, despite some weakness, I explored the Mayan ruins, at first very pleasantly on my own and then with a group of a German, an Englishman, an Israeli, and a Norweigen.

We left the park around luchtime as it was going to start to get hot (Though it was a fabulous day to visit, as a cold front had just come through). I ate a disappointing hamburger and booked a ticket to get back to Flores. I had planned to do more with the pyramids, but I wasn´t feeling great and just wanted to rest.

So I got back to Flores around 4:30 and found that the only hostal in Flores was full because of a HS group from Texas. I looked around a little bit and briefly toyed with going to a friend of a friend in Flores who I met once but instead went back and rented a hammock wich the hostal has in its social area.

For dinner I went to the place which is owned by the friend of a friend (friend of Galan and Phyllis who used to work either with MCC or with EMM and now lives there and runs a café bar by the lake). I ordered a cinnamon role and a coffee sat alone for a while before getting into a conversation with a hippish looking Guatemalan woman who sat at the table next to me. It was a good conversation and I later ordered a sandwich and fries which I had to take home partly in a doggie bag. As I was heading back to the hostal I crossed a couple with whom I had shared waves with before and they invited me to come watcha movie with them back where I had just been. I said yes. He was from Norway I think and she was from Italy and we all spoke good Spanish. It was fun and we enjoyed a depressing documentary about the Zapatistas in Mexico.

We also watched another catholic procession go by. The blaring horns are great.

I returned to the hostal to play jenga with some English, one of which was the same as I had hung out with earlierin Tikal. Three of them I shared a van with back to Coban the next day.

Over all it was avery fun trip. Though I have to report the disturbing loss of every singlie container of water that I either carried with me at the beginning or bought on the way.

I am now happy to be at home with my own bed.

The last couple days I enjoyed relaxation, reading, and trips to the river to swim with my host family

Much too hasty

Jordan

clarification

2009-04-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

The point of the picture in the last post (of my friends Adolfo and Enrique) is to continue making fun of an overly romantic view of some sort of Q´eqchi´ higher spiritual knowledge of the earth. That´s all. They were my best friends when I worked at the Fundameno office and are really neat guys who are normal like the rest of us.

alright, I am about to go see Mayan ruins, so I hope you all have almost as much fun as me!

Jordan

The Maya

2009-04-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

A snippit from Days of Obligation: An Argument with my Mexican Father by Richard Rodriguez.

"So I ask my friend at Oxford what it means to him to be an Indian.

He hesitates. My friend has recently been taken up as amusing by a bunch of rich Pakistanis in London. But, facing me, he is vexed and in earnest. He describes a lonely search among his family for evidence of Indian-ness.. He thinks he has found it in his mother; watching his mother in her garden.

Does she plant corn by the light of the moon?

She seems to have some relationship with the earth, he says quietly.

So there it is. The mystical tie to nature. How else to think of the Indian except in terms of some druidical green thumb? No one says of an English matron in her rose garden that she is behaving like a Celt. Because the Indian has no history – that is, because history books are the province of descendants of Europeans--- the Indian seems only to belong in the party of the first part, the first chapter. So that is where the son expects to find his mother, Daughter of the Moon.”

Thank you Richard Rodriguez. I live with “Indians” and while the Q´eqchi´ might be more spiritual than I am, while some still believe that there are Mayans (they have heard their music) in the untouched parts of the forest, while corn might still be holy... these are all still parts of a culture that have come right along with everyone else into the 21^st century. The Mayans are now protestants who go out to villages to pray for those in times of trouble. The Mayans are now my host mom who cooks over a wood fire and would like to have a car so she didn´t have to walk so much. The Mayans are my cousin who is exchanging her huilpil and corte (clothes enforced long ago by Spanish occupants) for modern clothes from America made in Guatemala or SE Asia. If you still want to call the Q´eqchi´ Mayans, then the Mayans are cutting down there own forest and trashing their own rivers,

If you want to find the old Mayan spiritual practices, you still can. It is even on display at some touristy places like Chichicastenango. I am sure it is much stronger in small villages. In fact I hear there is a bit of a revival going on right now. Corn is still holy. I was super excited to hear stories about people hearing the ch´ol cuink ("heart men" or the mystical Mayans that some blieve still live in the forest) and my librarian buddy talking about the mountain God. Despite reservations as a Christian (a Christian brother to them, as they are Christian too) more than anything I was just interested to hear about beliefs these two had that are a continuation of religious beliefs that were here before Christianity. There is something impressive about that, and besides, I have not been here near long enough to argue spiritual points with people here.

But I am not going to regret the loss of ancient culture. It is a choice for them to make. I will regret changes that, along with changes Europeans made long ago, lead towards unhealthy relationships with our surrounding world and can lead towards harmful things such as global warming. I don´t want to see Q´eqchi´ people cutting down the forest, but not because they are “betraying the traditions that run in their blood,” but because they are taking part in an almost completely modern problem that could have bad results for all of us. I regret that while many might shed a tear for the loss of ancient culture, we deny that that culture, being stuck in the first chapter of history books, has anything to teach us today.

My friends Enrique and Adolfo (Qeqchi (decendets of the Maya!!)) celebrating Obamas victory. Maybe there "spiritual connection to the Earth" told them that Obama would be better than Mccain.... I don{t know....

Jordan

ps. I actually bribed them with cake.

I am 23 years old

2009-03-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, my birthday I took the day off because it was my birthday and because I had worked Saturday and Sunday.
-I worked Saturday because now I am opening the library and computer lab on saturdays and trying to start a small reading program with some of the younger students, and Saturday might be about the only option... I think the reading could develop into a really good thing, but as seems usual hear, good ideas and plans just seem to constantly get swamped by other events. Sunday I had to prepare for a MCC team meeting that will be here-

anyways, I was sleeping soundly when suddenly I was startled by the brazen sound of an accordian. I jumped out of bed and looked out my window, but only saw a new fire wood stack. I ran to the door and what did I find, a small mariachi band serenading me! It was awesome. The sang a few songs, I stood there in just my shorts before grabbing a blanket unsure of what to do. It was great, 5 members from the church band, including the pastor came to my house at five in the morning to start off my birthday right. they sang, we ate tomales and cake, the pastor said a prayer and read some scriptire and we just generally had a good old time. I felt very special and am very greatful to my family and band members for doing that for me. Sorry that sentence is so dull, I am trying to write as fast as I can...

In the afternoon me and some friends went to missionaries Galan and Phillis Groff{s house and made bread. WHICH WE ATE WITH MY FAVORITE JAM FROM MAILED FROM REEDLEY, straight from the Paul and Ruth Buxman{s farm, "just fruit and sugar" or something like that. It was deliecious. On top of the plum and peach jam selections, we had a fruit salad of mango{s, pineapple, and watermelon... delicious.

then at around 11 30 pm I think, I received a call from my house. This was no normal call from my home however. It so happens that the BC concert choir sang in Reedley that night and my parents took in for the night Jenny, Kyle Unruh, and Evan Fast (the later two are former roomates and if you don{t know the first, well, peddle a little faster (as my dad would say)).

using parenthesis within parenthesis makes me happy. If you are alllowed to do it in Math, I think you should be able to in English also.

ok, that{s all.
Jordan

Word of Mouth, “If you haven´t come to the Lord yet, now is the time.”

2009-03-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday evening there was a meeting between directors of schools in the Carchá area. On Friday our director had a special meeting with all the workers at Bezaleel and then a special meeting with all the students too. The theme, the stunning news from the day before: the sharp rise in recent crime was the result of a group of 600 well armed men who “do not respect property rights,” who forced people to strip down to make sure they didn´t have tattoos (to make sure they weren´t gang members), and who raped women. Most all of the teachers had heard about this group, and the details weren´t all too far apart. Nobody knew who they were, communists was the word thrown around the most, the old guerrilla, somebody even suggested they were from the government (and the director, though he thought that not true, seemed to think that would be a good thing). The director was making the proposal that the men and women change residencies because the entrance to the men´s side has a gate, and that way women would not need to cross the road much, he didn´t think his advice would be followed, but said that if they didn´t and something happened, his hands were washed. “What can we do against 600 men.?”

I could not believe all this and thought that it must have been extremely exaggerated. I was saying to a friend how the number could be way, way less… how could anybody know that they are 600? But he had heard from friends from the police. The group was from a few small towns up North of us and they knew the amount of men from the town or something like that.

In the morning with the students we prayed and one of the professors recited some Bible versus. The director said “If you haven´t come to the Lord yet, now is the time.” Anything remotely gang like needed to go, girls should not have ear rings and should all dress in the traditional clothing.

At church on Sunday, the pastor said that parents needed to watch over their kids even more and make sure they weren´t “getting into anything that they shouldn´t be getting into.”

On Monday the boys told me how they had cut their hair, and ho now, all about the outskirts of campus, amongst pines, banana trees, bushes, and the little birds that take up their song in the steep hills that surround campus, were buried chains and pants that were just a bit too big.

On Tuesday, I asked the teacher if he had heard anything more about the group. He had known a decent amount on Friday. “All lies” he said.

Jordan

analysis later

The Most Difficult (but most fun) language lessons, part 2.

2009-03-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

I seriously suggest reading part 1 (below) before venturing into part 2.

“Were you scared”

As an American male, I am not scared.

“Were you scared on 9-11?” “no, not really, I was scared for other people, but I wasn´t scared” “Oh, I was scared by 9-11.” Why was my host dad scared on 9-11, while I was not? I had far more reason to be scared. The simple answer is that the Spanish word for scared asustado also kind of means surprised. I guess I can admit to being surprised, but rarely that I was scared. I wasn´t even scared when robbed at gunpoint, seriously I took it quite calmly, maybe it was scary, but I wasn´t exactly scared.

This is not about weather some third party impartial judge would rule me scared or asustado by any one event, this is about trying to figure what the heck is the difference between what I think when I say that I was asustado, and when they here that I was.

Once again, let´s start with me the fairly typical American male (I think), when I say I was scared by something I was so scared that there is no plausible way that someone would believe me if I said I wasn´t, I am half joking, or I am trying to get a better hold of the way Guatemalans use the word. For me, being and admitting to being scarred has little consequence other than in the moment and whatever blow my pride will face from people believing that I was scared.

In my short experience here, Q´eqchi´ Guatemalans seem way more preoccupied with weather one was scared or not. It does not have to do with pride. If one was, in fact scared, it can have serious repercussions. There are two basic reasons I think: ancient beliefs and recent traumatic events.

I made the early mistake of admitting that I had had a bad dream one night. I did not understand why my family took it so seriously. My host mom reminded me a couple times to say my prayers before going to bed. I am a fairly vivid dreamer and I had problems as a kid getting over a spate of bad dreams (some of which I still remember), but it has been a long time since they deserved such worry. Recently I said how I had a dream (I think it was a dream) where I was in bed and I couldn´t move any of my limbs, I said it smiling because I thought it had been kind of neat and because I was purposefully trying to put off their worry. My host dad and brother looked at me very seriously and asked if it had been pesadilla (something pretty bad), but were visibly relieved that I hadn´t been asustado.

I recently heart my fellow librarian trying to diagnose a student who was saying he was having problems studying, he gets bored, can´t focus, and overall is just tired. There were lots of interesting things brought up in this conversation, but I´ll keep it short and simply recall a small part of the conversation “Did you have a scare somewhere?” “no” “are you sure, did you have a scare somewhere” “I don´t think so,” “I don´t believe you. You got scared somewhere. You were scared. You might not even remember it now, but you got scared. That´s what happened to me” According to the Mayan beliefs he says, you have to do something with a doll (I forget exactly what you are supposed to do.).

In another conversation between my fellow librarian and another teacher which was full of magical tales that they themselves had lived or heard about there was a particular preoccupation with being scared. I hope to write more about this subject later, but this will do for this entry.

My host father has admitted to me of not being able to sleep because of bad dreams, and I think he might have an actually fairly real problem of dealing with some sort of post trauma disorder. He spend of a lot of his life in a country going through a terrible civil war. So when I say I didn´t sleep well because of a bad dream, they associate that with the actually serious bad dreams of my host father, not with my easily dismissible soul stealing monsters or whatever new invention of my mind.

Some peoples bad dreams here could be serious trauma inducing events I can´t admit to being scared (even to myself) despite the fact that I am sometimes very jumpy when people come jogging up behind me (I was robbed once and punched once by people running up behind me in foreign countries). I am pretty easily asustado by people joking around and jumping out of shadows at me, but if you do that to me and ask me if I was scared, no I will say, you surprised me, you did not scare me.

Here, being scared can call up both recent memory and current afflictions with post traumatic events problems and can recall ages long ideas about a spiritual world totally separate from our western faith in science, progress, and a one true God which we can get to know personally.

Jordan

part 1: The Hardest (but most fun) language lessons

2009-03-10T17:20:00.000-07:00

The language lessons one can never learn. One of the funnest, but perhaps one of the most difficult, parts of learning a new language occurs at the busy intersection between cultural values and language. Because of this confusing mangle of words that carry alternative meanings, words that mean one thing but might imply another, and words that have simple English translation that fail to capture the true sense of the word in Spanish, even the fluent foreign language speaker can be left rather confused, or even angry. There are words that I knew before I took my first Spanish class that I am still trying to figure out.

A well known example of this frustrating (but fun) part of language learning is Gordo(a). A good friend of mine, Jake Harder, came back from Guatemala when I was young and started calling me Gordo (instead of Jordo). Gordo means ¨fat.¨ It was ok because we were good friends, I was just a kid and not worried about physical appearance, and I was defiantly not fat. He explained however, as I am sure many of you know, that in much of the Latino culture calling someone Gordo or Gorda isn´t really taken as a insult like in the states. I am sure there are a lot of very weight conscious people in the Latino world who would be up set to be called Gorda, but the word is just not applied or received with the same manacing intentions or with the same sensitivity as in the US. Sometimes it is a simple statement of acceptable fact, and sometimes it is just used in a more friendly manner.

In the United States we are taught that being fat, or just a little chubby, is horrible. Admitting that one was fat or chubby would be like admitting to oneself that they were justly looked down upon by the rest of society, that there was something that everyone (including themselves) knew that they should do in order to make his or herself more acceptable to the rest of society. Allowing oneself to be identified as ¨fat¨ in Latino culture does not carry with it the same social death wish that popular culture in the states suggests that it is.

But that ´s an easy one.

“Are you sad?” “huh?.. no I am not SAD, I just want to sit alone for a bit.” How many times have I been asked if I am sad here? Triste means sad in Spanish, and it is such an easy, perfect translation, that is easy to forget that triste might encompass a far wider range of emotions than sad does. It seems to, at least where I am in the Q´ekchi´ culture in which I live. After being asked so many times whether I am triste, I have finally begun to realize that maybe those around be could be right. Maybe I can be triste and not be sad.

How could that be?

Let´s look at myself first. A general part of US culture is that we do not admit to what we think of as negative emotions. If I were back at school I would site some article by a sociologist that we read once in a history class about this aspect of American culture. We are always, “fine, thank you “ (as all the English learners at Bezaleel learn to say). If you would argue that this is not true of US culture, I can at least say that it is true for me. Sort of. I am not going to get into weather sometimes I think maybe I am sad or angry without admitting it to myself, if I am sad, but don´t realize it, am I actually sad? The end result is, anyhow, that when I am sitting on my own reading (something few Q´ekchi´do) while others are playing soccer and my host father asks me if I am triste, I invariable heartily deny this proposition.

On the other hand, however, Q´ekchi´are much more ready to admit that they are ra sa´ lin ch´ol “sad in my heart.¨ Ra also means pain.

Many Q´ekchi´ children grow up sleeping in the same bed as their siblings. My host brother of 26 years has never had his own room. Latino families are known for cuddling up, the whole family, on one big bed to watch the TV. People don´t leave their parents until they are married, sometimes not even then. The US is well known to be the opposite. The individualism that arose from single male pioneers going out to conquer the wilderness, or individual immigrants in whatever stage of history going out to make a name for themselves has made us into a culture that values striking out by oneself. The grandiose picture of individual hardiness, whether true or not, is a centerpiece to our societies self image. Catholicism (dominant religion in Latin America, if not where I live) stresses society salvation through the mediating Unniversal Church, while Protestantism (as in the states) stresses an individual relationship with God.
So when I openly sequester myself a little bit, my behavior is quite abnormal. And at least in the limited vocabulary of Q´ekchi´ Spanish speakers (using the easy and direct translation between ra and triste) I seem rather triste.

Am I right then, to deny this?

My actions, according to their cultural definitions of normal human behavior, most defiantly mark me as being triste. In the states, I would say that I am not sad, I just want to be alone for a little bit. And this is the point where the seemingly perfect translation between triste and sad fails. Where I am living, the emotion of “wanting to be alone” can be conveniently shortened and jammed in with the other meanings of triste. I am not sad because in English we do not like taking an emotional state and applying a negative label like sad. More importantly, wanting to be alone is extremely respected. Here, this is weird, possibly disrespectful, and certainly indicates an unhealthy state of being.

hopefully there will be more to come.

Jordan

Wow,

2009-03-02T15:47:00.000-08:00

who lets me put stuff like that (previous post) on the internet... what is wrong with me?

I guess posts like the previous post are a result of a weekend where nothign happened. Idle hands....

well, I did run the most gruelling 11 kilometers of my life, so that was something.

hope all of you are doing well

Jordan

Weird fanmail

2009-02-28T13:00:00.000-08:00

Wow, it has been a long time since I responded to my fanmail. I think the last time was even before I left for Guatemala. I guess there has just been so much…

Matthew Root, former Commy strongman, writes:

Dear Jordan, I love reading everything that you write about on your blog and I am disappointed by your lack of entries in the month of February. While struggle to write a my seminar paper this year, I just can´t help but think about your seminar paper and how good it was. Anyways, my insightful question is, How are you?

Man Matthew, I had thought that Penny Moon´s absence from your life this semester would help raise your self esteem, I guess not. I suppose she is not the only one who makes fun of your ridiculous hair. As for your question, my insightful answer is that I am good and happy.

Peter the Great , Russian Tzar, writes:

Dear Jordan, I can´t believe you are still in Guatemala amongst all those Catholics and Mayans. Anyways, I heard from a friend that you have grown a ¨really manly beard,¨ is that true? Don´t you know that all the cool people shave? I banned beards in Russia in my time so that we could move up in the world. Obviously you have been infected infected by that creole curse (just by being born in America), making you inferior and doomed to always be behind us Europeans of pure blood.

First of all, Peter, today people make fun of you for your ridiculous beard tax. Beards have nothing to do with anything. Second of all, if you look at any mural of the Spanish conquest (who are way more European than Russia is) all the Spanish had beards. Duh! Third of all, I think you starting this no beard thing for Russians has started it on an irrevocably self destructive path. Putin, current leader of Russia is beardless, and he is obviously sub-consciously suffering from a beard inferiority complex and is trying naively to try and assert Russian power in Europe through strong arm military and economic pressure which will, in the end, only make Europeans that much likely to reject Russians as Europeans. So your beard policy has, in effect, had the opposite effect from what you were hoping.

…. Anyways, My beard is only ¨really manly¨ if you think of it in comparison to the facial hair exhibited by people such as Kyle and Alex Unruh (Alex can still pass off as a High Schooler). Thankfully, because of my close contact with these two very special people, I can feel kind of good about myself. I have also run into some envious Guatemalans. It is not full (some parts are thicker than others), and it is strangely blond, but I think that in a few years a beard might not actually be a bad look for me. The experiment has been worthwhile.

Moctezuma, last Aztec Emperor, writes

Hahaha, silly European blooded, weak stomached ¨American,¨ I have read your entries on Diarrhea, and I couldn´t be more happy. Remember the small pox that killed between 60 and 80 percent of my people while your ¨conquistadores¨ played us for fools and ¨conquered¨ us here in America. Well I´ve got news for you! I´m back and your loose bowel movements are my doing…. Let every traveler to America beware, I am alive and well!

Thanks Moctezuma for trying to keep a 500 year old fight alive in your letter. Actually, my stomach has been doing quite well here. I finally had about 24 hours of diarrhea about a week ago, but it wasn´t too bad. I want you to know, Moctezuma, that you really don´t need to be trying to take out your revenge anymore. In some ways you´ve won. There are a lot of Mayans still around me. Richard Rodiguez in his insightful book Days of Obligation writes about how he sees ¨Indian faces¨ everywhere, but wonders, ¨Where are the conquistadores?¨. The virgin, La Virgen de Guadalupe appeared to an indigenous person, and now, the strongest base of Catholocism in the world is characterized as exhibiting very strong ¨folk¨tendency, that is, they do things that aren´t Catholic per se… it is their own religion, not the Popes. Maybe you should start focusing on my productive things than amebas.

Jordan
ps: I recently received peanut butter and nutella in the mail. Bannanas with peanut butter and nutella is delicious. Tortillas with PB and Nutella is delicious. Soon I will try putting all four together, and it will be delicious....

The Other Day in Carcha

2009-02-20T15:31:00.000-08:00

two men were caught trying to rob another man and they were stripped nakced and parated down the street. My mom told me that one jumped in the river to try to get away but pepole went in after him. I do not know if these men were delivered to true authorites.

Meanwhile on the news yesterday was a story about a man getting shot in the city and the police not doing anything about it.

One polititian calls for radical change in the government and a renewed effort to respect human rights. These rights, he said, immediatly (magically through the powers of a free trade system) bring wealth to the country. Sounds great, and despite the fact that he claims that this is how China found such success (WAY OFF, IDIOT) the whole new respect for human rights jargon sounds pretty good.

THen there is news on one station about how the news in the best paper available in Guatemala, The PRensa Libre, was started by the CIA ans still carries a strong bias against certain political canidates. One in particular is very popular among many people I have talked to. He did good things for the people. He also, however, stole money from the state.

In order to exacerbate all this confusion, the educational system is far from being adequatly funded....

What is one to believe in Guatemala??

saber

Jordan

me playing soccer on valentines day. I made one awesme goal. If you look closely you can tell I am in the middle of an.... interesting... experiment with facial hair.

Boxes

2009-02-14T09:43:00.000-08:00

The other day I dreamt that I choked a rooster to death with my bare hand.

““ Reverse” “Racism”” ??
All the quotations aren´t just to be funny. But partially.

The other day I was asking some girls at the school who would be willing to have a Canadian girl accoompany them during a normal day of classes, work , and socializing. Some were excited. Soon they began to ask for thin ones, tall ones, blond ones, pretty ones, beautiful ones. I told them I didn´t have control over that. Ok, so that´s not racism, but it is definitely a box taped down by ignorance and ideas about white women shaped by TV… though probably not many would have TV´s at home… not sure. I didn´t really mind because they are quite young and their ignorance is sort of understandable. On the other hand, it would sort of be like the Canadian girls asking for ¨really short ones¨or ¨ones with gold stars on their teeth and can´t stop smiling¨ "I want one who wears traditional dress" "I want one who carries baskets on her head." When you don´t know, but have only seen; when you haven´t communicated, but have only dreamt, these people for all that we have decided to respect and love are still just dolls in the theater of our imagination.

And I am not sure that there is a lot to do about that.

Jordan

ps. despite what this post might idicate it is a beautiful day topping off a fun week and here in Guatemala I am everyday realizing that it is going to be difficult to leave.

pps. sorry I have spelled cynicism wrong... as if anybody would even know in these days of ¨spellcheck¨and other cheap cheats... hahaha

Starting at Bezaleel

2009-02-07T13:22:00.000-08:00

I have now completed two weeks of work in the library at the Mennonite Education Center Bezaleel. It is good to know that this will be my final big change before going back to the states. I´ve gone from orientation in PA, Orientation in Guatemala City 2 weeks, living with host family and taking Spanish classes in the city 1 month, living with a family in Carchá 3 weeks before moving in with my real host family, working in Fundameno office 2 months, working with a work group for 2 weeks, before finally starting my assignment which my job description talked about.

The first two weeks have been good. I have made friends with teachers and students. Most everyone is very nice. I work in the library checking in and out books and, most importantly, helping out students with homework when they ask for it and, when they don´t, forcing them to explain to me what they learned. A lot of times after, for instance, copying down a page out of a book, the students don´t remember a thing of what they wrote, in part because they didn´t know all the words they copied down and didn´t bother to look it up or even think about it (because they are just copying). The director is trying to stop this copying stuff. So I try to keep students on their toes and make them think about what they are supposed to be learning. I am also starting some English lessons with a couple motivated students.

I haven´t gotten to start any sort extra curricular activities yet like I was hoping to. Students don´t seem to excited. On the other hand, every now and then, while giving a more in depth look at the liberal revolution of 1871 in Guatemala to a few students learning about it, a crowd literally gathered to listen in. Another time I was helping students to understand a little bit about the economic crisis in the US and how it might affect Guatemala.

Yesterday, after an assembly in which we welcomed 35 Canadians who were touring the school I was hanging out with a bunch of older students waiting around for the next class period to start when they asked me for a story. Somebody said they wanted to hear Obama´s story. I didn´t know much about that so I gave the basic outline, I had about lost the attention of the group when I suddenly felt a little bit of inspiration. I talked a little bit about the discrimination African-Americans faced just 40 years ago, how, not long ago, if you would have claimed a black man would be president of the United States, people would have laughed. I drew a parallel between blacks in the United States and indigenous groups, particularly the Kekchi, in Guatemala. Obama wasn´t in a better position growing up than a lot of people in the states growing up, but with hard work he did a lot of amazing things and now he is the president of the United States, the boss, “el mero mero” to use a slang expression. This story had about 15 students held in rapt attention. I was pretty happy with myself and pretty amazed that the presidents story could be so inspirational.

For those of you who have been wondering, I finally got together with the Cahills (that includes Rob Cahill who grew up 3 blocks away from where I did). They live in a pretty cool place in Coban and we entertained ourselves with good conversation and some very good food that they provided.

Ok, that´s all,

Jordan

and this is a picture of me with some of the work group from Nebraska. We had fun and everyone loved the yellow color we used.

The feel of Charchá

2009-01-31T13:36:00.000-08:00

The feel of Charchá

Bean juice on my fingers: First it is warm and runny, then, since I don´t have a napkin, it is just a little sticky. I eat beans all the time, and they slip out of the tortillas with which I grab them all the time.

Mud skiing: I was advised to pretend like I am skiing when going down the steep hill leading to my house on a wet and muddy day. It is especially advisable to do this when I am stubborn and wear my slick sandals instead of my rubber boots. The other day I had no other option than to let myself slide about five feet before I found a post to hold. I did this successfully. Anyways, I have become accostumed to the feel of soft mud under my shoes and deceptively slippery ground.

MY FIRST THREE WEEKS HERE

1. It was really cold and I got used to continually wearing the same shirt/shirts 24/7. I didn´t want to take it off for bed, I didn´t want to take it off in the morning, I didn´t want to take a bucket shower outside in the cold every day( I showered about once ever three days during this period). It was actually never very uncomfortable and my long sleeve shirts came to feel like a protective armor I couldn´t live without… sort of like Frodo and his shirt of Mithril.

2. Without heaters, living with the cold was a constant battle. I never really felt like I was just terribly cold, was simply in a constant state of coldness. My “core temperature” as Kramer would say, was simply always low, and could not be raised. I just lived without the pleasure of being warm. I still sometimes sleep in a 40 plus degree room.

3. My feet were always wet. No matter how hard I tried, they were never dry. It felt like they were water logged or something. My MCC friend David, who dealt with the same weather, reports the same struggles with wet feet. Weird.

The Sun: After 3.5 weeks here the sun finally came out. I remember looking at it and hardly being able to take my eyes off of it as I had not seen it in a long time. Now, I oftentimes get up, receive my hot glass of atol, and then bask in the sun as I wait for my breakfast. This is the best way to raise ones core temperature. In the cold air, it feels kind of like God is hugging you.

The Wind: The wind comes slowly over the mountains, but arrives at our almost hill top home uncontaminated by the smells of the town below. When it comes it always reminds me of the fresh ocean air. Sometimes I feel like a kid again.

Chairs: In my experience in Guatemala, one sits on plastic chairs. It is no cushioned chair, but it is better than a wood or metal, but not really uncomfortable. One gets used to it. I rarely think about the comfort of sitting down on a comfortable couch. More than anything I miss a comfortable chair on which to sit and read. The best chair ever is currently located near Wichita Kansas. Don´t be deceived by its appearance.

Shaking hands: my host dad walks in the evening and shakes my hand and puts his other hand caringly on my shoulder. He has a hard and calloused hands from working construction most of his life. Unlike most Kekchi people, he actually gives me a strong handshake, which is very nice. We hold hands for an awkward amount of time and sometimes I am not sure what to say, but I always feel good about it.

Jordan

ps. recently I have eaten: pineapples, watermelon, oranges, bananos, strawberries. All very good.

2009-01-28T15:15:00.000-08:00

This was a wedding I went to in the middle of nowhere. It also feels like a long time ago.

Some Mayan ruins I saw a LONG time ago (at least it feels like a long time ago).

Jordan

A Sleepy Day in Carchá

2009-01-18T13:42:00.000-08:00

It is Sunday and Carcha is basically closed down. It is drizzily, as usual, and there is not much to do except to rest and go to church. It is pretty nice.

I was thinking about relating a recent, rather hilarious story, but I´ll think put that in my back pocket for good dinner time conversations.

A little over a week ago I was in Nicaragua at MCC regional meetings. It was a lot of fun hanging out with MCC´ers who are, as a rule, very cool people. On the bus ride to Nicaragua we saw six movies. Common themes were: a lot of dyin, resurrection, immortality, the power to rule the world. It was annoying because you couldn´t take your eyse off the screen.

Now I am doing a lot of running around trying to keep things running semi-smoothly for a group of adult Nebraskans here on a Work and Learn trip. They are a lot of fun and it is really great to see all the people from back home who care so much about MCC´s work and the people we work for. It is very refreshing for me. It is also very good for people here for the same reasons.

Random thoughts:

John Smoltz with the Red Sox, you´ve got to be kidding me.

The United States biggest, scariest, and most effective weapon is the idea of democracy. Right? The idea of popular uprising for a just and representative government makes a lot of evil people with power shake in their boots. I know most cultures dont have these ideals so ingrained as being of upmost importance as ours does, but promoting it peacefully (can you truly promote just governance with violence?) might possibly go a lot further than at first thought. The French revolution was scary enough that all the monarchs of Europe came together to prevent it from happening again. Enlightenment ideas about government were captivating enough that, despite strict censorship, exiled authors, imprisonment, the death penalty and other forms of forceful government oppression, people kept on reading about these ideas, and people, amazingly, kept on writing.

I am considering to continue not shaving and see where it leads.

My Kekchi nickname (the nickname for Marcos, which is what I go by here) is Cux, which sounds like ¨cush¨ with th u sounding like the u sound you hear in ¨you¨ . My host mom once said to me, ¨a Jenny le extraña su cuxito¨

Sometimes the best parts of my day are the random conversations I have with people. The guys at the bus stop with whom we talk about why the United States has such a better soccer team (the first thing that is always mentioned is size, then money, then talent, nobody seems to think it matters that we have so many people... I don´t think many can quite grasp how many more people a huge country like the United States has to choose from for it´s team thana small country like Guatemala).

My own personal approval of Obama would shoot way up if he were to buy aHuskey or a German Shepherd, or just pick up a will be big total mut off the street and make it his.

What does it mean when the coke cans on the back of walmart brand soda says ¨100% satisfaction garunteed¨? I spent entire summers working at fruit packing sheds perplexed by that question and I have seriously dreamt of returning enough coke cans to WalMart (for only being 93% satisfied) that they stopped handing the money back to me. THen I would have to take them to court and they would either pay me off, or, even better, they would take off their arrogant claim that they can truly garuntee 100% satisfaction. Nathan Boldt my favorite work partner knows that this question is one of the few things that can truly make me kind of upset. Well, maybe not so upset, but it at least annoys me to know end. Where do they get the arrogance that their little sugar water product can satisfy (100% satisfy) so many millions of very different consumers. My rather acute sense of spitefunessl just rages and begs me to make my lifes work taking that silly little line off of WalMart coke cans.

I am reading my first work by a Russian author, Dostoeskys Notes From Underground. In it, the author is extremely spiteful. Basically like George in Seinfeld. He preceives everything as an insult and can never win. In it he dreams and dreams about, as a lowly person, instead of jumping to the side of a rich important person, actually bumping shoulders with him. When he finally tries to do it, he attempts and attempts and fails and fails. Finally he does, barely, bump shoulders with him... and he is exalted. This is like me and WalMart. One day I will come home exalted at the small amount of money WalMart has given back to me because they are foolish enough to make a claim they coulnd´t possibly keep if we were all honest. And WalMart wouldn´t care one bit.

ok, ok, so there is a small view of where the mind can wonder while working at a fruit packing shed (which, despite the idea the previous lines my give you, is a great summer job).

anyways, I need to get on with the business of the day and take a nap.

con cariño

Jordan

New Years fast

2009-01-02T14:12:00.000-08:00

New Years eve-
Church celebration: 8-1:30
I arrived around nine
there was church singing (mostly you hear the band)
There was individual singing (mostly you hear the boom box played into a mic
There was communion
There was a short wedding}
There was a gift exchange (My neighbor and host-little cousin drew my name and got me 2 triple A bateries, two fake birds in a miniature cage, and a pair of socks)
There was a long period of time praying on our knees after communion
a message or two
and finally, the best part, tomales!
it was a marathon, but fun.

New years day we slept in, ate tomales for breakfast, had a family meal (duck and chicken we recently slaughtered) which was great because we never eat together, and the best part, we played some good soccer with extended family. THen we rested and that evening me and my dad went next door for more tomnales and my neighbors house where they were having a party. THere was drinking there which is why the rest of my family didn{t go. The music kept me up as I tried to sleep before going to work today.

hope you all had a good one as well

A Story

2008-12-30T07:54:00.000-08:00

We were in San Marcos, Northern Guatemala, on a "week of service" trip with youth from all around Guatemala and El Salvador. I was sharing a room with a very boyish looking 13 to 15 year old (I forget).

We both yawned a little bit as we got up. I said something about how nice the bed was.

He said to me "oooh, I was having a wonderful dream"

"yes" I said "It is good to dream"

"Yeah" he responded, "but I was dreaming about my dad"
"Oh, That{s nice"

I thought, oh wow, we have been gone a few days and this poor little kid is already missing his family. I rolled my eyes behind closed eyes and the thought "that{s sweet" had an easily descernable condescending tone.

"my dad is living in the United States, I have not seen him in years" he told me.

oh.

He is the oldest at around 14 years old.

I felt like sh**. And that is exactly what I deserved.

Jordan

Historical Tidbits

2008-12-22T12:42:00.000-08:00

I found and stole a Newsweek from 1988. Bush senior is on the cover, a tough cowboy on a horse with snocapped mountains in the backround and "the spirit of Marlboro in a low tar cigarette" and picture of said product is in supreimpsed on the picture which covers the back of the magazine.

Highlighting the sad stories (when looking back) in this issue is an article on Chiles Pinochet and its "glow of prosperity." Pinochet has only avoided prison and the death penalty because of some laws which prohibit prosecuting former heads of state there... or something like that. He did lots of terrible things and was placed in power by a United States supported coup that ousted Allende (I forget his first name, father of famous author Isabelle Allende) for his socialist stance. The article speaks glowingly of Pinochets work. Newsweek redeems itself a little bit by later talking about the "two chiles" (rich and poor) noting htat "to a large extent teh economic recovery of the past three years has been made possible by a shar reduction in salaries" and acknowledges that while the Chilean economy is doing well "there is truth to the fact that.... the average chilean is not.

There is a hopeful article on the ousting of a military dictatorship in Burma... sad to realize that 20 years later there is another military dictatorshiop there.

who knew? apparently in TS Elliot{s early writings there were some very anti-semetic statements.

Some people are abusing the new nicarette gum

"Irans Crusade Falls Far Short" but fundamentalism is still rising. A cease fire had just been agreed upon between Iraq and Iran. Hussein is referred to as "President Hussein." Iran "accused Iraq of using poison gas one more time." Oh yeah, and do you guys remember how the United States sold arms to Iran, who was fighting against our ally, Iraq?

After an article on how Bushs strategy will center around slinging mudballs at Dukakis, a following intervew article has the headline "Bush blames Dukakis for the negative camaign" Bush said, "I will never apologize for the United States of America,-- I don{t care what the facts are" Newsweek writes "Fortunately for Bush, his own slips of tongue have become so common thast, like Reagan{s, they have ceased to be big news." Bush was struggling to break away from his elitist image, eating pork rinds was apparently a flop. A pollster in another secion advizes that bush "Go heavy on family values."

There are also letters to the editor praising what Pinochet has accomplished in Chile

ok, some of my plans to travel have, sadly, been swamped, but I will still have a good Christmas here in Lindo Charcha.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Jordan

throw a snowball if you have one

Listening cont.

2008-12-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

I had to, because this has been on my mind.

SaaabER (like bear) and VerDA: Thats Saber (verb for "to know") in english and verdad (truth or maybe truly). I love these two expressions andthe way people say them here. Saber means literally "to know" and Verdad means "truth or truly". Here in Guatemala people will just say "saber" instead of "Quien Sabe" (who knows) ans who knows would generally be the best way to translate it. But it is not like they never say "Quien Saber" either.. SSSSOOO, to take things a little to far.... the way people say saber (saaaaBER (again, like bear))sometiems soudsn to me like tehy are saying much muchmore than simply "who knows." Or they could have choosen NO sé, "I don´t know."The fact is that they are not saying quien sabe (whoknows) but ahve chosen saber (to know) instead. Sorry for the repetitive ness Penny Moon, but I just want to make sure everybody gets it. Anyways, it soudns to me liek Guatemalans are making a very modern (postmodern really) commentary on what it measn to know anything anyway. Like I said, they could have made other linguistic choices, I think that not only does "saber" have more elegance, it also carries more meaning. It´s as if guatemalasn are questioning anyones ability ot know for sure anything about this "reality" (those quotes the Guatemalans put there). "where did the dog go" "to know..." maybe they are saying , "to know, to really know something, si something outsdide of our capacity as humans, you don´t know where the dog is, I don´t know where the dog is, maybe the dog does not really exist if neither of us can see it." or "I don´t know, and what does it really maen to know something anyways.... 20 years ago I knew me and my brother were going to ahve a good harvest, and then my brother was killed by the army and they burned our land and I lived the next 7 years in exile, so I try not to KNOW anything anymore." On the other hand, when Guatemalans I know really do feel they know something, they really do know it. verdad is like "truth". My host mom asys "VerDA" I might say ¨boy, it´s cold¨and she´ll say ¨VerDA", Truly... now that´s something on which we can all agree. This feels to me (or at least thisis how I Like to think abou it) like a frustrated or, actually, maybe elated response to the constant Guatemalan postmodernist-esque whining Guatemalans do throughtheir "saber" and it´s implied belief that it is impossible toarrive at any truth anyways. "puchica, mas ké" "VerDAD" "boy it´s cold¨"now that´s the truth"... I don´t care what you asy about ti being impossible to find truths, it´s flipping cold!

I might go deeper into thehistorical reasions why these sort of far out ramblings on Guatemalan spanish might actually hold some water, but for now let´s sum up the possible reasons with: exploiration of humans, war, ineffective and extremely corrupt governance for a long time (ie unfinished roads, promises not kept), war, lot´s of mountains which slow communication and still, even today, seperate people thus creating distinct languages and isolated communites that are ignorant of the world around them, but know enough to know that there is a ton out there that theyjust will never know, and competition between mayan spirituality and Christian belief.

more

CRAP: the soudn I make when I realize I´ve changed into my boxers before brushing my teeth. I then have to go outside to the pila (cenment thing with water) to do it.

Big SPLAT: the soudn of soup spilling all overmy pants at a recent wedding my host sister invited me too.

little SPLAT: the soudn or peaple spitting under the table at the weddign reception.

Jordan

ps. more on spit. In grade schook I was indignant abuot the fact that we weren´t even allowed to spit at recess. I still did all thetime (at recess) and was never caught.... untill my very last day of grade school when I was reprimanded by some lady with a whistle. I was SO mad, I had gone all that time without getting caught. I remember telling my dad when I got home. I wonder what he thought.

Listening to Carcha

2008-12-15T10:14:00.000-08:00

In order to finally describhe my life a little bit better hre in San Pedro Carcha, I{ve decided to make a series of entries on the subject. Obviously, it will always be impossible for em to describe perfectly what life is like here, buyt I am giong to do my best. My idea is that inorder to make things easier for me, I am going to divide entries buy the sensory inputs so to speak through which I perceive Carcha. Ive already put together some ideas for all of my senses, today is giong to be, as the title announces, sounds.

GALLOS, oh the gallos (that{s roosters): Theyare not as lovable as everybody{s favorite [Little Jerry[ from Seinfled and most times they are just annoying. I wake up to their crow often times. Everybody has them and at any point in the day you can hear them, but particualarly at around 5 30 am, 10 pm, and I think at around 3 am Ive been woken up a number of times. It{s much prettyer in the distance. Close up the cry sounds painfull, like everyday the roosters is reaching down to the depths of it{s being, summing up all of it{s strength and then violently ripping apart it{s vocal cords in order to make this piercing sound.
TORTEANDO: That is, makign tortillas. I probably eat at least five tortillas a meal and you can{t eat without them, The old stories tell that man was made from corn, and hre, they are at least sustained by it. We buy our tortialls froma local who makes them everday. Walking down the street you will ehre the plat plat plat plat of women tossing the dow from one hand in the other in order to make their amazingly perfectly round tortillas. The sound is delicuous, pleasant in it{s repetitiveness and, being a soudn that has been here since the beginning of time as we know it, is maybe something you have to listen to yourself
THE MOLINO: That would be the loud mufflerless motors which people use to grind their corn into the dough from which htey form tortillas. At the office where I worked, the molino across teh street drowns out your voice in the parts closest to the road.

DOGS: THe first house i stayed at their was a pcak of dogs ten strong. Oftne times at night I woke up to dogs fighting. THe yelping is terrible and I am in favor of extermination.

RAIN FALLING ON A TIN ROOF: Sometimes it is kind of romantic like that Norah JOnes song. Mostly it si just really really loudn and makes it sound like it{s raingin way more than it is. THe tin roof reverberates with the sound and sometimes the level of noise kind of scares me. Then again, it also sometimes gives me a great feeling of peace because I know I am safe inside instead of outside in the rain.

THE BIRDS: In contrast to the rather annoying roosters, in the morning one also hears lots of pleasant bird calls that I{ve never heard before. My favorite ones have a sound sort of like a very full and quality whistle that ascend to a very high, but not screeching pitch. There are lots of different bird calls and they all have a happy musical quality that is just great to wake up to.

GOATS: Above us is a pastor form which oftne times we ar graced by the bleating of goats.

WASHING: On warm days one often hears the inconsitent splattering of water and the rouch scrunch of women tirelessly washing clothes by hand.
MUSIC: People ply music loud. Praise music, Latin Rock, and some Mariachi music are favorites one often hears playing in the distance. Sometiems we make the mucis and at these times hte whoel place feels like the music is consuming it, it inflitrates every corner of the house and makes it alive.
CHURCHES: When there is a service downt eh street you know. Where i used to live I would just be able to hear the bass bum bum bum bum the same tow notes for hours. IT wasnt{ bad for sleeping. One might also walk past a more carismatic chruch... your blood will be chilled by the screams and wailing that sound as if the y came from jalf-dead devil creatures with a hing of the screams of a seriously injured cat. Then you{ll feel the uncontrolable desire to run from the booming sound of a man yelling abouthe love of Jesus and the Power of God. My own church signs songs which are drowned out by the overwhelmign sound of the keyboard. YOu can hear the worship leading singing into the mic upfrong. Songs will last a long tiem or will blend into anohter song and then it will sound the same, The peopel will clap an sing when the can, but you won{t hear them well. Some songs will repeat the same phrase over and over an d over utill you find it impressive.

PRAYER: When peopel pray, everyone prays.A carcophon of the harsh Kekchi language lifting p their preayers to the lord might just be something you have to experience yhourself. I hardly pray myself because I just love listenign to everyone else. Accented by hte glottalized k sounds and lotsof sh{s, it for some reason makes me think of a lot of wet pebbles falling into a running stream. One vocie ove the top directs the group in the dynamics of thsi strange song.

ONE SONG: I{ve heard the song "Eres Todo Poderoso" a millin tiems in a millin different forms includign the majestic sound of a lone, soulful voice crying it out to the darkness.

Wood Chopping: Sometimes I wake up toe the soudn of my mom doing hardlabor chopping small piecees of wood into smaller piecesof wood so that she can prepare our breakfast.

Ok that{s all for now.

Jordan

sorry

2008-12-10T08:18:00.001-08:00

that last post about Greg Maddux was not supposed to be so sappy....

Jordan

ps. I promise I´ll make a post about Guatemala soon.

A sad day in Atlanta

2008-12-09T10:55:00.000-08:00

yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

baseball was just another game to play

Yesterday, Greg Maddux (aka. pest pitcher of the modern era not on steroids) retired officially from Baseball. From 1992-1995 Greg Maddux won 4 Cy Young awards and amassed a 1.98 ERA. A brief look at his career statistics showed 20 walks total in 1997, in 232 innings. He won lots of gold gloves. He won lots of games with bad run support and crappy bullpens. I think 355 wins in all. Pretty amazing. You can marvel at his statistics yourself at the official braves website. I am not going to take the time rightnow on this slow computer to do it myself.

Anyways, I have been braves fan ever since watching Otis Nixon bring back a would be Pirate home run in the 1992 NLCS (I think that´s right, those details were´t so importatn to me at the time) and then watching Sid Bream charge into home, beating a Barry Bond´s (he had smaller arms at the time) throw to home, to win the series, I have been a Braves fan. Actually I think I might have just felt bad for the Braves because everyone else in my family was rooting for the Pirates. I felt bad later when my brothers were crying and I was happy.

Since then, I spent hours with a tennis ball and glove in front of our brick fireplace (the outside part) pitching balls, pretending to be alternatly, Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, John Smoltz, and Steve Avery (remember him? he was supposed to be great and was my favorite for a while). When my pitches weren´t great, Otis Nixon, Marquis Grissom, David Justice, Mark Lemke (my favorite playoff time second baseman, Jeff Blouser, and others would make diving catches to save me. SOmehow the imaginary Braves always won, and for the better part of my life that was actually true in real life too. Now the Braves are struggling a little bit and I have to live like every other baseball fan not knowing for sure that my team would make it to the playoffs. The Braves used to have three potential aces, now, with Tim Hudson´s injury, they are struggling to find one (and yes, I blame the Yankees and their greedy ways for that).

Now we´ve got some good guys like McCann and Escobar, and good ole Chipper Jones is stillwithus, but the days will never be the same as those fantasy days with (young) Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz dominating the NL.

Today, the Braves are lost without a single ace and the retirement of Maddux has brought to the forfront of my mind how far gone that "yesterday" really is.

Jordan

I hope like probably every other Brave´s fan that one day he will return as a pitching coach.

It´s been a while

2008-12-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

You guys remember that song that was huge for a little while while we were in High School. Sort of a grundgish (sp) sort of song "it´s been a while since I could say.... that I wasn´t addicted" stuff like that, well my innocently written title suddenly brought back the shameful recollection that I liked the song. oh well. Anyways, for a long time now I have held fast to the rule that I need to respect my former self. That is, I need to respect the ideas, views, or ideas of what fun is, that I used to have, even if now I think it is stupid. I realized a long time ago that if couldn´t promis myself to respect (in the future) what I think today, then today will end up being pretty crappy and useless because I´ll always be worried about what a future, more intelligent (supposedly) perhaps more dignified me will think. If I don´t have respect for my formerself, my futre self might logically not have respect for my current self, and if I realize that, then why should me current self have respect for itself? So I promise to respect all of my selves... anyways.... This strategy has already benefited me. For example, when I was a little kid I thought that it was just downright disrespectful and stupid that my older brother sometimes went to peoples houses and TP´d them.... for fun. When I was in HS I learned that it was "cool" to do this very thing. I refused many an invitation to join in on this activity (which as a HS and with pure pressure and with the distorted but intelligent enough reasoning of my friends didn´t at the time seem so bad) largely on the basis of wanted to respect the strong opinions of my former self.

ok, enough of that, let´s get back to Guatemala, it´s been a while.

I just got back from MCC meetings in the city. It was a lot of fun to hang out wth the MCC team here. They are all a lot of fun and they are all very good people. I am constantly amazed at how different everyone on the team is, and yet how well we all get a long.
The highlight of our time was geting ready for our performance in a talent show which will be held at the regional MCC meeting in Nicaragua in January. I won´t reveal what it will be for fear of spy´s from SALTers in other countriçys in Central America who might read thsi and reveal the secret of what we are going to do. Suffice it tosay that it was a lot of fun.

It reminded me of the annual "talent" show which happens at my Penner sides Christmas gathering. I will miss that.

Anyays, we spent a lot of time talking about thefuture of MCC in Guatmala, values, and methods,. It was good. We also had a lot of fun, and for me it was just nice to be in a new place, get different food, and have a hot shower and room where the sunlight woke you up in the morning. My room in Carcha has a window, but it has no screen and it is not made of glass, but wood. So there is only light when it is open.

We also had a Christmas dinner which, being prepared by my former hostmom inthe city, was amazing. I also helped in hte making and earing of sugar cookies. We followed up dinner witha rousing game of pictionary. David Janzten, Beth peachy, and I won. I did bad drawing but twice I the first guess to come out of my mouth was correct, giving our team aneasy victory. One was Christopher Columbus ( guess as soon as I saw two little boats and what appeared to be a land mass) andtheother was Rocky Mountains. I have never played such an intense, hotly contested game of pictionary. THen we played the dictionary game which was also a lot of fun. Though I think we had a bad dictionary. I think in the first seven words no one guessed the correct definition, and it was because the definitions usually just sounded badly writen. I reminded myself of my dad with this entry for one word with the successful definition, "A man of unusual proportions" . My dad is not a man of unusual proportions, that just seemed to me like a very typical way that my dad might word the less politically correct, ¨that man is fat." Earlier that day we had also eaten pizza (it had been a while for me) and played soccer. Saturday we relaxed in theMCC apartment, went out to get coffee (I had gelato), I visited my former host family, made an excelent dinner, and hung outlate into the night talking, listening to David play his new guitar, and singing along. Very fun.

Now I am back in the office finishing up my project and wrking on getting ready for a Work and Learn team to come my way to Bezaleel in January.

oh yes, while visiting my host dad in the city he told me, ¨Ya casi no tenés accento gringo" or "you almost don´t have a gringo accent anymore" so that made me feel pretty darn good. Though I think in that moment I had been talking particularly well. I still stumble around sotimes when I am not sure what to say or how to say it. I am still, probably pretty much everyday, reminded that my vocabulary is limited, I need to get back to the books (maybe even with a dictionary) and continue learning vocab. I really want to learn higher level vocab. It wil be dificult here though because spansih is the second langauge of most people here too, andmost don´t read, so it will really need to be a conscious effort form me. Also my listening skills need to improve. They talk slow here and I am afraid that if I went to a faster speaking place I would ahve problems.

Anyways it is about time I go on and get home.

I think with Christmas season coming, thinking about all the traditons of my family and with people at Bethel College, I am entering a little bit of another period of missing home(s). I even kind of miss the whole commercial aspect of Christmas which has hardly hit Carcha. The cheesy Christmas songs that have nothing to do with Jesus and everything. It is all part of a season which I miss.

I did however, receive andelectronic Christmas card from Barry and Brenda Bartel and THE WHOLE BETHEL COLLEGE CAMPUS COMMUNITY. I thoght that was funny... thanks guys!! ok enough, fun, I actually did kind of appreciate it. I do feel apart of an extended Bethel community that is still worth something despite being so seperated. Thanks Bethel, you will always give me warm fuzzy feelings.

ok, I need to go

Jordan

An Awesome Dream

2008-11-24T15:05:00.000-08:00

There is a lot to write about, including a 5 day trip to San Marcos Guatemala with young people from around guatemala and El Salvador to learn about environmental preservation. I have also been planning for a while a post on daily life here, but I´ve already written this, so I am going to share it.

I think I´ve always been a fairlyvivid dreamer and better than most at remembering them. I got particularlygood in collge with my roomate Alex, where we always told each other immediatly about dreams. Here is a very funny and interesting dream I had recently.

My family and I and... Barack Obama... ar eating dinner out in the Kansas countryside at a verynice, down-home style restaurant. Before gioin in I talked toa scruffy 30ish man standing by his blue ford pickup about what was good, he highlyrecomended the ¨corbet¨... whatever that is. Sounds like a Sorbet, but with a C. The place turns outto eb a buffet but withtheadded touchthat handsome male waiters in nice white suites asked youwhat you want and then they get it for youfrom the buffet line (a new revolution in American dining? I dreamt it first!) I ordered teh corbet, only afterwards remembering that I don´t know what that is... good thing it´s a buffet.

Anyways teh drea jumps to after themeal standing outsidetherestaurant whichlooks like a larege white house (old). Italk to Barck Obama and feel like an idiot/jerk even as I ask him aboutthos white supremecists who watned to killhim. NOw, my dream shifts for a little bit to us now being actors in a television show that looks and feelsl like smallvile (the young supermanshow that has been on TV at myhouse recently). I am sitting inthe back of on old pickup truck enjoyingth fresh air and win in my face and marveling at how exactly like Barack Obama our actor Barack Obama looks. Along with me and barck is a ccomplementary blond and good looking (hey, it´s TV) actress. The scene is on. Now in my dream I am not acting any more, but watching the television show, of which I am a part, but that I somehow don´t know what´s going to happen, as if I was not a part of producing it.

Scene of television show I watch on TV in my dream: The three of us sitting in theback of the truck. Obama starts to become concerned withis hand, but he doesn´t say aything about it. The trhree of us continue to enjoy the sceneryand i think some random things happen to distract us as the camaras continue to show Obama uietly growing more and more concerend withhis hand. Fuinally he tells me andthe prettyblond girl something goin on and his ahnd feels funny. He rolls uphis sleave andwe look at it. It is mostly invisible, but it is just opaque enough (the frafics, by the way, are B movie quality) but it looks like this invisible thing in the shape of his hand is being painfully extracted from obama´s physical body through his hand.

Obama suddely realizaes what is going on, he looks up dramitacally, a stron ghing of worry invades his usual cool that everybody likes to talk about, his voice states dramatically,

¨I´m losing my Martin Luther King¨ that his, in this show, his superpower.
commercial.

Then, still dreaming, I laugh about the show and how stupid/rediculous that was and yet find the idea really hilarious. who thought of that!

That´s the end of the dream, I gues we´ll never know what happens.

First of all, I want to state, that while I think it is extremely cool that we have a black president, I in know way consider his blackness to be his singular quality, or that he gets superpowers from it.

Ilove all tehlayers of reality. Dreaming that I am in a TV show. Thenwatching tthe TV show thenmaking fun of the TV show that my asleep mind made up.A prettyblond girl who only exists in a fake television show in my dream. My dreamself has the audacity to make fun of a television show, never realizing that I myself will later make fun of my dreamself for not realizing that what he was making fun of was actually a fake TV show which I made up, or that he doesn´t really exist outside of MY DREAM.

Thisof course makes me wonder....

the old, what if I am dreaming, or what if I am only being dreamt (like the blond girl). In which case, who is doing the dreaing?

well, anyways, that is a very fun dream that gets me to thinking... hope you enjoyed it and I would appreciate any far out interpretations of my dream. not that theyhave to be far out.

Jordan

Thought of the Day: Change is Hard

2008-11-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

This does not have to do with Obama.

There are lots of people trying to change things here in Guatemala. The other day, driving through lowlands of Guatemala my friend Galan pointed out to me villages where they had placed hundreds of dry latrines. These latrines with a steady supply of human waste and ash from their cooking fires would eventually make great fertalizer for land which now really needs it (the land used to be rainforest, so it doesn´t stay good very long) . The latrines have the added advantage that when it floods (which it fairly often does) the waste doesn´t come floating tothe surface. Hardly any of these dry latrines are being used today. There happend to be a lot of flies around when they were placing them and many believed the latrines caused the flies. Rabbits, which make great fertilizer are becoming more popular here in Guatemala, but, if it´s sucha good thing, why isn´t everyone realeasing themself from taking on debt everytime they fertilize and having to work another job to pay it off? Well, I guess it´s just because change is hard. Besides who knows why your crops seem not to be doing as well year after year. Some ancient elder sayd its because the people don´t ask permission from the mountian gods anymore to plant, they aren´t doing the ancient rituals anymore. Or maybe it´s because you don´t have enough faith in God... you only go to church twice a week, or because you still hold onto some ancient traditions along with your Christian faith. Saber (who knows in Guatemalan spanish).

Reading is not a strong tradition with Qe´echi´, it will be part of my job to try to get students to think critically and independently and reading can only help with this. But why would you read if your dad hardly does... or anybody else in your family for that matter. And simply working seems alot more profitable. What can I show a student to make him believe that learning to read well could really be advantagous for him or her? I don´t think trying to explain why I enjoyed Unamuno´s Niebla will work and reading el senior presidente would beway to hard. Even in the states, to try toget us to read, we resort to tricks like a pizza party for students who read so many pages.

I was thinking discouragingly about Guatemala.

But I then realized how hard it is for usto change to. My old soccer coach used to always try to get us players to understand that stretching actually isn´t a good warm up. Studies show no drop in injuries and a loss in power with stretching. Dynamic stetching is theway to go. The players never believed him and stubbornly kept stretching. I just read iin the NY times just how right Sieber was. I still strethc a litte bit though too. How long have we known about global warming? And how long have we hardly done a thing? How long have alternative energies been around? Read Moneyball to learnabout how stubborn baseball execs are to changing how they evaluate players. Cigarettes will cause cancer. We will have shortages of water. Race is not a scientific reality. Women are equal to men. We´ve known these things for a while.

So that´s the thought. Change is hard for human beings. Even when the writing is on the wall.

Jordan

This summer

2008-11-09T13:16:00.000-08:00

p Elijah and I riding bike in Cambodia. It was a lot of fun. Joseph took this picture from his bike. We also rode our bikes on the big roads withcrazy trafic. That was fun.

ok, this is actually not from this summer, but I just realized that thanks to Jennifer Gingrich who studied at CASAS the last two months, I actually CAN post a picture or two from Guatemala. The front three girls are Audry, Carrie, and Jennifer (all CASAS students) in the back from theleft is Lucy oneof the CASAS directors, Rachel fellow SALTer, David fellow SALTER, me yes I am wearing a sheet of plasitc (I ripped a head hole and tied the edges to make it like a poncho) and next to me is Tina. We are standing next to some awesome Mayan ruins. On this trip we saw two sites, and both were pretty awesome despite the rain.

Kyle Unruh came back with me to California and we had a grand time doing things like this. That´s a dead giant sequioa (forget how that´s spelled). We also went to the beach, visited Jenny in Berkeley, and, of course, enjoyed sites of Reedley.

My ¨We are the World¨ post

2008-11-05T15:20:00.000-08:00

The other night I wrote a rara ¨we are the world¨type of entry meant for my blog. I´ve decided now not to post all of it. Only a summary. Why maybe I felt it to radical. Maybe I was afraid it could be mushy (thus the sarcasm of my title). Maybe because I am too scared to talk about ¨love and compassion¨ as real things that can make a difference if we actually tried and really (really) did what those driven by the ¨love the neighbor as thyself¨philosphy ought to do.... I don´t know... I am just scared of being scoffed at I guess.

Anyways, the title of my post was goign to be

¨the constricted Mr. President/ my ¨we are the world¨ speech.

note: I think I have to very powerful sides, a very idealistic side and a very sarcastic, cynical and scared to death to be clichéd side.

Anyways - a quick summary- I am very excited about Obama

BUT, I think as president, he has to buy into a lot of things (American ideas or cultural myths or whatever you want to call them) that will force him to act a certain way.

Mr. President has to respond violence with violence. Mr. President always act in favor of us. That´s basically his job I know, but sometimes acting that way will probably hurt others. Mr. President has to be tough. I wrote that he has to push free trade, but I just realized that Obama will be taking a closer look at the NAFTA and the CAFTA. Mr. President can never say socialism even as a republican president does a very socialist thing and bails out banks. Mr. President maintain military superiority (though hopefully he will be reducing out amount of nukes). Has to try to maintain our position as a superpower, as if that´s somehow more important that things like our well being. Maybe that´s not a convincing enough list, but work with me here...

I wrote: I am not saying that he is taking the one ring for his own, I´m just aying that I think the job defines the man more significantly than we realize... possibly even more than the man defines the job.¨

I jump into bashing American society (that´s supposed to be sarcastic because I do believe that in some ways American society is pretty great, how can I not. That´s why there´s this hope thing Obama is talking about. It´s not him, it´s us (¨It´s not your, it´s me¨ says Georges girlfriend, George, ¨Your using the the it´s not you it´s me routine on me! I invented the it´s not you it´s me routine! If it´s anybody, it´s me!!¨ girlfriend, ¨Älright Alright, it´s you¨ snort of agreement from George) And that, the part before the seinfeld quote, is basically the point of what I wrote.

bad things: materialism sort of heads the list (bad for personal happiness, bad for environmet, global warming etc etc). Racism. Sexism. Violence is normal. We live in a society where people commit crimes for which we deem it worthy to kill the perpetrator and in which abortion seems like a necessary evil. militancy. Family problems. Nationalism instead of genuine care for our neighbor (actually Americans have always viewed ourselves as doing our best to help the world, it´s just the actual foreign policy, in my opinion, has not really done that too much). education is not important enough.etc. etc.

I wrote: ¨There are some diseases for which a good president is really just a bandaid. Those of us without th constricting title of Mr. President can go beyond anything politicians can do and attack the reasons why we have certain problems instead of trying to simply treat the symptoms. Only we can actually build a society more strongly based on love and compassion. Politicians have to deal with the problems that arise because we are not so much built on these ideals.¨ Changing our culture would change the presidency far more than any presidency ever could.

I listed stuff we might do especially to do with conservation of energy and investment in our communities were the main things.

I said it, ¨love¨... gasp. ¨does anyone remember the let your light shine song. It´s definately old, and possibly clichéd idea, but the amazing things that may come probably aren´t.¨

As I write I am realizing how classically American what I wrote is.

I end with a disclaimer. Of course Obama could do a lot. But not without us. And I emphasize that I think the L word translates into action and it´s just hard to live up to it most... I mean all the time. And the presidency and governance in general can also have a great effect on our culture, but still, us as individuals and as parts of so many smaller communities are the ones who really make it what it is.

Jordan

ps. watch the Flight of the Conchords song, ¨Issues, Think About it¨the live version. Pure comedic genious. on youtube.

pps. right now I am finishing up The Upside Down Kingdom and am feeling kind of convicted by it. I feel like we all need to read the gospels a little harder and ultimately try towalkas hewaled and do some of the things hewants usto do which we generally do not. And it can take part of the blame for this post.

An Interesting Weekend-- finally a real and less scattered post

2008-10-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

Today I divided my time between studying Q´ekchi´ and reading about the presidential race. I still hope I can vote, but right now the chances look bleak. I am just starting to learn bits of Q´ekchi´in a more structured manner as I am actually devoting a little bit of time to it now. It is a lot of fun trying out my limited Q´eqchi´in the office and teaching the equivalent in english.

Anyways, the weekend:

After a short bout with a little bit more of stomach problems I went on a trip with missionary friends to a gathering of jovenes (a loosely defined Spanish word that means young people, you will be happy to know that many of you, who might not be called young in the US, would be jovenes here). Well, this gathering really was for the very young, so, despite the looseness of the word, there were no fifty year olds participating in it. I got there right at the end of the lessons that had lasted all day on religious themes. One of which, my missionary friend and maybe my most valuable cultural informant told me was the respect of elders. Apparently many young people don´t respect many of those older than them because they already are better educated than they were (as a result of the civil war that lasted untill 1996). Many older folks, actually tend to feel the same way, that is, that they cannot command respect from their kids, because they don´t have the education. At least they are placing value on education I guess. I also was cued into a little bit of Q´ekchi´ youthful awkwardness concerning boy/girl relations which was interesting. Last generation a boy would ask his father to talk to the father of a girl that he likes, Saturday we saw a boy purposfully sit next to a girl... in the past this would not have happened. NOw youth here just aren´t sure what to do. Cultural practices are always in flux everywhere, but here it is more pronounced because there are some changes happening of the large differences between the old culture and the incoming Latino culture. The issue of cultural change pops up everywhere here (at least to me, as an outsider looking in) and it is hard to know where to stand. Is a little more autonomy for youth good, or do we lament a the destruction of culture? By wanting ot preserve Q´eqchi´culture does one simply make them into dolls which we dress up for our pleasure (to use an analogy one of my fellow students at CASAS, and before at BC, used)? But what about girls being married and pregnant at 15 years old, is not not ok to encourage that to change?

Sunday, I rode about an hour on bumpy roads and then hiked about an hour to reach a wedding in a beautiful aldea of two 19 year olds. It was, for once, a clear day (gracias a dios), and so we could see all around the church and hill after hill of countryside, milpa (corn and bean fields all in one) and coffee. It was beautifl. In the church the service alternated between extremely loud music (my missionary friend tells me sarcastically that loud music is proof that the holy spirit is there) preaching and at one point me, being a gringo connected with the honored missionary friends, apalogizing in Spanish for the fact that I don´t know how to speak there language and that God bless them and the marriage. I also sat in front and received a coke to drink throughout the maraton service (though not as marathon as a Cambodian wedding, that´s for sure. This was really an easy 10k. TO say the least, sitting up front was very embarrassing, and yet still nice.

The couple sat deathly serious the entire time.

After the service and after a select group of people prayed for the health of a sick baby we walked down to the houseof on of the families. We had arrived there before getting to the church. Where, after our substantial hike we received hot coffee (not what I was hoping for) and a delicious Guatemalan treat which I forgot the name of. Anyways we returned here, where we were greeted with more coffee (this time I refused). Soon we were sat down and slowly everyone was served hot chocloate, which is particularly delicious here, and that everyone drank out of the same gords. I should also note that we were very much crammed into a small space. After a while we were served food, a soup of with three huge pieces of meat. Since I was among the slightly honored my bowl was loaded with grease... and can´t believe I was able to finish it. To achieve this feet I tried to remind myself of all the extremely greasy pizza I have eaten and asked myself, what, really is the difference. The idea is that we are served mroe than we can eat and that everyone take some food home in order to bless our families. Pretty neat. Finally things ended and we started on the 40 minute or so walk though muddy paths which zigzagged through coffee, milpa, and cardamon (the other cash crop), and the occassional bannana tree. In the end I can say that the whole thing was beautiful and extremely fun.

It is raining quite hard again today, but I think I might get going. I´ve already written quite a bit, but I certainly could write more about all that is going on here in Guatemala.

tin cua´ak (I will eat (corn tortillas))

hope all is well with all of you as always
Jordan

I feel like blogging

2008-10-21T16:56:00.000-07:00

Why do I feel like blogging. Is it because I really, deeply, feel the need to keep however few of you actually read this thing informed. Is it because I like this keyboard in which I can{t find the question mark (no). Is it because I just need to journal. Is it because I had a very boring job today at work and need to do something moderately creative. Is it because there are so many new and excting things to talk about. Probably some of all of these, but its anyones guess.

sorry family Dodger fans.

A couple more things I really like about where I live
two pieces of sweet bread- about 14 american cents
6 small bannanas- about 14 american cents}
Ermelindo- the cute little boy who lives with me, gives me high fives and sometimes falls asleep on my lap.
Toullos-like corn tortillas with beans cooked right inside- about 20 cents, though I think I was given a little gringo tax on that one. delicious though.
also, fried bannanas which I need to eat more.

actually, food might be one of the mroe difficult things for me here. There are lots of great snacks, but I need to get mroe accostomed to the main meals, which still arent{ qutie doing it for me. But as my sicknesses get further behind me, I think likeing the food more is coming too.

RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD

and I mean that only in the literal sense. It is raining a lot here and some places are flooded. I went to teh one tourist spot in Carcha yesterday and was amazed at all the flooding. I could see the top two steps of a slide... it was sitting in the middle of a raging river. I guess the attraction is ually calm, pristine pools where one can lounge and hace picnics, not right now. All the rain can be kind of depressing, but right now, I am used to it. I would like to see the sun though.

Man, there was so much more I thought about writing as I sat at a desk codifiying all the furniture in the office and everynow and then laughing out loud when I thought of an episode of The Office or George in one of his office work situations.

but I need to get home, because dinner is probably already ready, and it is probably dark outside already too.

Jordan

First Week in Carchá

2008-10-18T13:50:00.000-07:00

finally there!

I am not going to take a lot of time to write right now, hopefully, but here are a few thoughts after my first week in the town where I will spend the next 10 months or so.

It´s beautiful! It rains all the time, and it shows in the deep green which covers the mountains which surround the town.

Thank goodness for Eastern Mennonite Missions missionaries who took care of me after I foolishly drank some fresco made from unclean water. Yes, I apparently have a wednesday night curse, especially if Thursday I am planning on traveling.

The house is high up on a hill and I have a beautiful view of the town. Pretty amazing.

walking down the mainstreet one is likely to meet someone they know, even if they have only lived in Carchá a week.

The Dave Mattews version of ¨burning down the house¨pretty much rocks.

It is necessary not to have preconceived ideas of what a bathroom is supposed to be.

The tortillas here are huge, and I have no idea how my host father eats soup, yes soup, without a spoon, but with tortillas.

I should learn some Kechi.

My work has been ok. I feel like I have helped some, and I think I may be on the cusp of really beraking into some more friendships here, so that is exciting. I think I will look forward, however, to starting my real job at the school in January too.

ok all for now,

Jordan

Of Seepless Nights and Diarrhea

2008-10-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

This was a letter home

Thanks for the inspiring words Jos, indeed, it turns out that I have found yet another adversary in the outside-of-the-US world, and that´s white beans and Chorizos. Turns out they have to be made very carfully and often make people sick. And they really did a number on me. For the very first time I am on antibiotics for a stomach infection. Wednesday, after a meeting with my CR, we went to lunch and I partook of said meal. I spent the rest of the day happily at home getting ready to leave the following morning. I ate a good dinner with a special addition of tres leches. The first warning sign was the the tres leches wasn´t as good as I usually find it. I felt like I was too full and had eaten too much even though I knew I hadn´t eaten that much. Anyways after a while I was in bed reading and feeling strangely cold. It had rained a fair amount in the day so I figured it was just colder than usual. First I closed my windows. Next I closed the blinds. Next I put socks on. Finally I put on my favorite REI cold weather long sleeve shirt (Christmas gift of Dick and Mar I think). I even tucked the blankets underneathe my body to stay even warmer. Pretty soon, I was shivering in bed and my heart periodically would beat extremely fast to try to warm me up. Eventually I got up and put on my smart-wool socks. I had some random ideas about what was going on, none of which was the thought that I had food poisoning. I had just read a passage from Niebla where the protaganist talks about how umbrellas are beautiful and elegant closed, and ugly opened. Much better to simply comprehend thatn to use. Then he says how currently we only think of God as being like an open umbrella and that one day we will all widen our vision to God and simply comprehend Him. I thought, well God, I´m sorry, but tonight I´d appreciate you being an open umbrella for me. haha. I ended up going to the bathroom two or three times in the night I think, but none were diarria untill the morning after I had gotten up. I finally got to sleep and ant points in the night I woke up way to hot, but most of the time I shivered profusely. In the morning I told my host mom I had a fever, my head hurt me, and that my stomach felt very weak... and so I definately could not eat the oatmeal she so nicely made for me. I did have a banana though and I was grateful I had brought along the extra strenght Tylenol stuff that the doctor gave me in Cambodia for Dengue fever that dissolved in Water and made me throw up the first time I took it... .my head really did hurt.

Anyways I ended up staying at home. That day I spent a lot of time sleepign and I didn´t even have the desire or maybe ability to focus to read more than five pages. I rested and went to the bathroom. . . Amidts 10s of people hanging out in our house eating lunch. Awkward, but at the time I was looking out for number one, so to speak. Yes, a vague pun intended, but I am not srue where diarrhea falls on the number scale. The same time as a

-Jake Harder walked into the room and now it is a little while later after we have talked, isn´t that cool!-

The same time as a woman who has some sort of medical training noticed that I had gone to the bathroom four times sicne she had been there and began talking to my host mom and telling here that I must have an ifection and needed antibiotics, the MCC country representative, Irma, called for medical advice... turned out the preson she called was the same as was dining at my house. So that evening I got antiboiotics and a rehydration salt sort of thing to dring. Yesterday I read a lot of my new favorite book, Niebla, by Miguel de Unamuno, and slept and watched baseball in peace and quite. Since then I have gotten steadily better and am now haning out with the Harders (Add another mark the long list of random people I know that I´ve seen here in Guatemala) and my favorite CASAS employee, Rigoberto.

Anyways, now it looks like I´ll finally be leaving for my assignment Sunday afternoon. I felt good enough to leave today, but since the place I will be working for doesn´t work on the weekends id doesn´t make sense for me to go.

So that´s the sad story of how I suddenly fell sick the night before I was finally supposed to leave for my assignment. I do believe I have to be the last SALTer to actually start there job. My fellow SALTers here in Guatemala left on Monday, I didn´t go because my placement still wasn´t quite ready for me. So you can imagine that I was already itching to go before I got delayed another 3 days... oh well.

Jordan

Language School is Over

2008-10-03T13:24:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't really written anything about language school, but now that it's over I figure I should write something really fast. I received one on one classes with an extraordinary teacher, Marta Calderon. A lot of the time we just talked, and hung out, so often times it didn't even feel like class! We studied the subjunctive tense a lot, however, and I now feel a lot more confident with it. Funny though, how sometimes you still make a lot of elementary mistakes. I've been really bad recently mixing up the gender of words, or not agreeing them. THis is maybe the hardest thing for me when I'm speaking, hopefully just by continuing to read, talk, and listen my mistakes will decrease. For some reason recently I've caught myself saying Yo me gusta a time or to... really stupid. And the other day I said tenes hombre. I am also kind of getting the hang of vos too, which is nice because that's what young men here use with young men. If they use tu, apparently it sounds like you are homosexual... definately not a good thing here in Guatemala if you want male friends. Luckily as a foreigner people are forgiving!

My family has been wonderful. I get good food and I've really enjoyed hanging out with my host dad, Noel, talking about all sorts of things, from sports to politics to religion. We are both into the playoffs this year. Congratulations to all the blue blooded Dodger fans in my family. You guys are looking pretty good. A lot of people visit the family, so I meet lots of random people too, which is great. And a lot of them are nice and want to take the time to include a gringo in the conversation too.

I just finished the book El Senor Presidente by Miguel Angel Asturias. It's a very difficult book and I am prett proud I finished it and understood it. Though I am positive I do not have a level of understanding that allows me to fully appreciate it. I am just happy I was able to appreciate it at all. Let's just say it had a fair amount of words that weren't in my dictionary, and that can be frustrating. I did about a 15, 20 minute presentation on it today, and at times I felt pretty terrible, but other times were alright.

I've also had a lot of fun witht he other students here. Besides the two other MCC'ers, David and Raquel, who are always a lot of fun, there are four others, Tina and Cari: former Bethel students like me, Jennifer one of my brothers best friends, and Audrey, who, despite the fact that I didn't already know her has also been fun to get to know. The despite the fact part was a joke. We have had fun hanging out at CASAS, going to a soccer game, getting lost, shopping at a great market, worshiping at a Catholic church built on Mayan ruins in which people still mix in ancient religious traditions, visiting Mayan ruins, and playing some intense games of spoons... to name a few.

So I will be going out to my placemeant between Monday and Thursday. Finally. I hope I am prepared for it. I am definately ready to start though. THe family I was going to live with there is not quite ready though, so I am going to live with a different family for about a month and then move in with yet another family. That my not sound like the best situation, but the way I see it, it will just give me more close friends in Guatemala.

On a more somber note, recently we have been inundated by sombering news having to do with violence here in Guatemala city. It is quite bad, our CR from Colombia says it is much more dangerous to live here than there... so keep Guatemala in your thoughts and prayers. Guatemala's biggest problem is gangs. There are lots of single parent househoulds, and here doing that is even harder than it is in the states. The reasons for all the single parents here are complex, I think, having to do with culture, government policies, a violent recent history, and poor economic conditions, that I really don't know enough about to write anything worth your while. Anyways, kids end up growing up on the streets and joining gangs for support. Not a lot of public systems are set up to prevent kids from going the gang route. They end up doing things like killing a 26 and 24 year ould bus driver and aydante for not paying the taxes the gang had imposed on them. Or giving death threats to a community organizer. Meanwhile, families outside of the city are forced to move off of their land becaues of rising prices. They then have to try to squat on unused land of large landowners. The get evicted from there and have nowhere to go... all the while knowing that the land they were evicted from was gained by the large land holders because of unjust land policies enforced by liberal- not in the sense of politics today in the USA- dictators... all in the name of 'progress.' Yes it can be a sad story, and I haven't even mentioned the still recent cival war here.

But anyways, things are still good for me personally here.

My little while or strong feelings of nostalgia for the past have moved on and write now I am very happy to be here doing what I am doing. I can be a pretty nostalgic person sometimes, but I think I generally do a good job of staying present in the moment. That is not to say I don't want any of you, if you ever feel the disire, to write me a note and pull me back to Kansas, California, or wherever, please do!

Anyways, hopefully, I can put some pictures here sometime of Guatemala, I don't have my camara cord though, oh well.

Hope all of you are doing well!

Jordan

Pictures for nostalgia´s sake

2008-09-17T14:16:00.001-07:00

This is the day before graduation I think. from left to right- Evan Fast, Greg Shelley, Aaron Voth, Kyle Unruh, Jordan Penner, and Jenny Regier. These are all people I lived with this last year (except Jenny). We missed the presence of other modmates Jordan Bartel and Isaac Olsen (aka number 2). This post is kind of the result of some recent nostalgia for Bethel College. Sorry to the old 6C that a picture of you guys is not on here, at the moment it is not on here. I miss how easy it was to be with lots of friends, all the time. I miss eating three meals a day with a different selection of friends every meal, late nights doing work and or avoiding it, convocations to round out the week and all kinds of other stuff revolving around having a great community of good people handed to you on a silver platter. I could go on, but I am focing myself to stop.SPRING BREAK- well this was my last spring break group anyways. Cari Holliday (who once studied here in guatemala) Peter Miller (fellow History major) Kim Schmidt (who also studied in Guatemala) and Miriam Friesen (who also was a fellow History major). I showed this picture to my family and my host mom said that I looked much thinner in it. uh oh.
And finally here is a good picture of my family in Cambodia with new inductee Sina Yang. In front of a temple in Anchor Wat. I think I like long hair better...

Antigua and Pacaya

2008-09-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

note-I am multitasking as I write this, so sorry in advance for all the errors.

a note from my good friends, Cari Holliday, Kim Schmidt, and Tim Parker in my personalized edition of ¨the Lonely plantet¨quotes Henry Dyck as saying ¨I poop on Antigua¨... and I definately understand and agree with the sentiment. But it´s still fun. On our epic 36 drive hour drive home from Kansas to California ((we went the long way) which if you know me I often mention for many different reasons) Joseph and I both named Henry as one of our favorite people at school. I think we both mentioned that we felt Henry liked us because we laughed at his jokes. Anyways enough about Henry Dyck.

Antigua is pretty touristy, but it was a fun, quick trip out of the city. It was also us three SALTers first trip away without anybody else to help us out... which felt good. We hiked the volcano Pacaya which also attracts a lot of tourists, but with good reason. WE got to see real lava... I mean come on!

It was wet and windy (despite teh fact that we left at six in the morning) and I bought a big piece of plastic to protect myself... works pretty well actually. Not a terrible hard hike but still fun. It´s interesting how it is so ugly and beutiful at the same time. I was very much reminded of mount Doom.¨NO Sam. I cannot remember the taste of strawberr pie (or something like that) or the sound of water fally on a summers morning.... I am lying naked in the dark with nothing.... I can see him now with my waking eyes¨that´s no where near correct, but that´s the jist of it. Nate Boldt and I had some fun with that one. Yes I know I am a nerd.

Anyways I returned home saturday evening and enjoyed some time with my host family.

On Sunday I went to church with my family and got in on an engagement celebration. David and I (and many others) ended up getting dressed up in rediculous apparel of the opposite sex. thenwe got to dress up teh bride and groom in newspaper. Afterwards I played soccer (well) for a while and now have pain in my lower back. oh well. Everybody else seemed to have brought soccer clothers to play in after church, but I didn´t, so I had to sweat through my nice shirt and pants. oh well, I still scored a bunch of goals (someting I never really got much of a chance to do at Bethel...). Though I hear that right now would be my time to shine and the good old Thresher squad.

After soccer, the engagment party just so happend to continue at my house and yada yada yada I´m really tired today.

Who would have th0ught it´s raining in Guate right now. Should I stay or go...

I think I´ll go, why are we so scared of water falling from the sky anyway. We bathe in it, we drink it, we do recreational activities in it, but when it´s falling from the sky we´re scared of it. Ok enough of the Seinfeld imitation.

I hope all of you are doing well and thanks to all of those who are supporting me and all those who have written me or left messges. Kim I will get to your questions, I´ve forgotten what they were for the moment.

Jordan

A short update

2008-09-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

Today was my third day of language study and it has been going pretty well. It's four hours, but with a thirty minute break which can turn into a 40 minute break. My maestra is fun and a lot of times we just talk about a variety of things- immigration, Obama vs Mccain, spanish literature, racism in Guatemala and the United States, school systems... many times the time se fue volando (went by really fast). Today we listened to music. It was a fun exercise. Sometimes I talk pretty well, other times not.

The other with my host family night we watched the new version of poseidon on television. Kind of fun.

I am now starting to read the book El Senior Presidente which won a nobel prize and is by Asturias, a Guatemalan auther. So for it is pretty difficult though.

Today was also my first day in which I went to school on my own. Yesterday my host brother showed me the way. I decided to be safe and walk today, although it took a long time and isn't too fun with the traffic and pollution.

Jordan

changes and other random things

2008-08-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

first Q´eqchi´sentence- lub´lu li ishk sa ha´ which means She is tired from swimming (we were watching the olympics). Not everything in this sentence is spelled right and it might actually literally mean someting more like she is tired from water, not sure. In Kechi (easier way to spell it) to eat means to eat corn (like in Khmer but with corn instead of rice).

changes-¨teaching english¨the lame pat answer I generally had for asnwering what I was going ot do in Guatemala has rapidly given way to ¨Idon´t know.¨ I will be helping in many ways. Hopefully I can attack one of the core Guatemalan problems and give self confidence and empower many of the younger generation here in Guatemala through my work at the Bezeleel school.

changes-I have actually been enjoying strong Guatemalan coffee regularly. I´m kind of scared, but I still drink at least one cup of water in the morning before having any coffee whatsoever. And I am only drinking a little bit.

random information- In the late nineteenth century, with the encouragment of a liberal Guatemalan government many Germans invested in Coffee in Guatemala. The government declared lands where indigenous persons lived vacant and let foreign investors take the land. For many years the government forced, through various strong-arm tactics, these same indigenous persons to provide cheap labor for coffee growing and harvesting. Bringing the market economy into central Guatemala not only forced many formerly self-sufficient farmers into wage labor through the introduction of cash crops, it also changed the nature of Mayan religion. No one is really sure how it all happend, but the tzuultaq´as (mountian god´s that mayans believed they relied upon for good crops) began to appear in dreams to the Mayan people, looking like Germans. Apparently the Germans ownership of the land was just that much like the tzuultaq´as ownership (to whom Mayans had to pray and sacrifice to in order to receive permission ot plant corn) of land to cause this crazy conflation of ancient religion and current social-political circumstances.
The availability of cheap labor that the Guatemalan government provided also contributed toward kindney stones in the United States.

also- David Janzen can play a mean Canadian folk tune

Jordan

In Guatemala

2008-08-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

and loving it! We are still in an orientations stage, and have not had the chance to really stretch our legs exploring Guatemala, but I have a very good first impression of Guatemala. The city reminds me of Quito, which is good. Though I am also glad I will not spend the year in the city, but will be going out into more rural areas. September first we will begin a month of language school and then we (myself, David Janzen, and Rachelle Smitz) will go out to our respective posts. We are all in fairly rural areas where seperate indigenous languages are dominant. I´ve already begun an informal study of the Kechi language. Speaking of that, I need to get to reading a book on said cultural group with which I will be living.

The Volcano smokes ominously above the city.

ok that´s all for now,

Jordan

FAN MAIL

2008-08-05T23:32:00.001-07:00

Well, I guess it's time we start a fan mail question and answer section.

Kyle from Kansas writes:
Hey, I was just wondering when you’re heading out for whatever the first step is in your MCC journey*

Well, Kyle, first of all, I really want to thank you for your generous support and enthusiasm for my blog. It's fans like you from which I draw my inspiration. I'll try and send you that autographed huipile soon. To answer your question though, I am leaving at 10 pm Friday evening for a week long orientation in Akron Pennsylvania. There I will meet up with former BC studs Peter Miller, Joel Krehbiel, and Caley Ortman. I also expect to see Andrea from Cambodia that some from my family may remember.

Jake from South Dakota writes:
Hey man, UR blog is AWESOME! I'm already super psyched about Guatemala and you are not even there yet! U R flipping amazing dude. I hope you are having an awesome time packing all your stuff in order to get ready for Central America.

Wow, Jake, your enthusiasm is a little bit scary. I am almost done with a pre-pack test. I think I can get all that I want into one large hiking bag, another medium size hiking bag, and my miniature green backpack.I could probably leave in 30 minutes and have everything I needed. SO I'm pretty happy about that. I'm bringing more nice clothes than I ever had in Kansas because, as a teacher, I will need to look semi-sharp. Right now I think I only have four T-shirts packed (3 being Run for Relief shirts), which is probably a record low for me. I literally have a dresser drawer and another medium sized duffel bag full of T-shirts here at home... and that's after giving away many T-Shirts back at school. I will usually pack 4 T-Shirts for a weekend trip. However, they say that there are lots of cheap clothes shops in Guatemala, so I figure I'll buy some shirts there and save space in my bags here. The main concern is really that I have enough underwear that I have 100% confidence in.

Peter the Great (1682-1725) from Russia writes:
Jordan, I see you are going on some travels of your own there, from the so called "United States" to a region of Spanish America which you call "Guatemala." Now as I recall, the captaincy of Guatemala (1609) was (in the Spanish administrative ladder) at the southernmost point of the vast territory designated a part of the viceroyalty New Spain. Beneath that began the viceroyalty of Peru, where I hear you have also spent a fair amount of time in the capital of Quito. Now I can understand Quito, being a center for Spanish administration, but I mean, you've gotta be kidding about Guatemala! That place is a backwater, I hear the Spanish have hardly conquered this area and even just to the North, in the Yucatan, the descendants of the ancient Mayan civilization is resisting religious and political domination (see Ambivalent Conquest)... no matter how many heathen ancient Mayan texts the Spanish burn.

In my own secretive journey through Europe I hit all the major centers learning and technology in order to help my backward Russia westernize. Now from your use of English, I gather your "United States" must be some part of the ever growing English empire. As a side note, in my day, I helped along Russia's dreams for empire by finally gaining a warm water port from which our great ships could begin to take part in the long distance trade that was driving the advance of capitalism throughout Europe. Long distance trade was very important, being a major factor in the advancement of banks, credit, bills of exchange, industry, investment, joint-stock companies, stock-exchanges etc etc. see The Wheels of Commerce v. 2 by Braudel. Anyways, in my journey through Europe I learned many great ways to improve my home country of Russia. I instituted a Table or Ranks to gain absolute control of the stupid aristocracy (kind of like Louis XIV in France) and instituted a tax on beards... all to push us towards Westernization. I may have had to, shall we say, crack a few heads to do it, but seriously, before I took over, you couldn't swing a dead cat in Russia without hitting someone with a beard.

So my question to you is, why go to a backwater of the Spanish empire? I mean Spain is already in decline, we all know about the English defeat of the "Armada Invencible" in 1598... I mean, read the writing on the wall, Spain is out! How are you going to learn to make your "United States" a great and powerful nation from an uncivilized speck within the failing Spanish Empire? I mean coooooome on!

Well Peter, first of all I have to say that I was supremely shocked and excited to get your email. That was really great. The United States is actually already a pretty powerful place, so, unlike you, I'm actually not going on a quest to learn from Guatemala in order to make the United States more powerful. Still, I think that there is a lot that we Westerners can learn from "backwater" and "uncivilized" places like Guatemala. Just because western society has come to dominate the world with a combination of military might and economic control doesn't mean that our ideas and cultural assumptions are somehow right, or truthful. I believe I can learn a lot from these people, descended (at least in part) from the Maya. You might not believe it, but in the year 2008, your enlightenment ideal of progress has been sort of debunked. Most don't believe that all civilizations must advance on one straight and arrow path in order to reach an elusive goal of perfection. Those ideas were built upon a racist ideology (like the one that you obviously hold) that placed western civilization as the pinnacle of development. Today, we'd call you a "racist" and a "ruthless dictator" and nations like the United States might invade you in order to save your people (and take control of your vast oil reserves). "Cracking heads" is not acceptable anymore... wait a second...wellll that's what they say anyways...

well, we can continue this conversation later... I got kind of carried away there. Thank you for your fan mail Peter the Great.

thanks to all the fans,

Jordan

*names, places, and questions in "FAN MAIL" posts may be changed or simply made up for the safety of the fans or to keep up the exciting nature of this blog.

Anatomy of a blog

2008-08-02T14:11:00.000-07:00

To be quite honest, I have rather mixed feelings about starting a blog. My brother Elijah says it is "out of character," Kevin Neufeld wrote back pseudo-derisively to me, "What's next Jordan, a cell phone?" Well, perhaps. I do not think however, that somehow beginning a blog is some sort of turn around for me in regards to the negative feelings I sometimes hold towards things like cell phones and facebook. First of all I have never claimed to be totally against these things (though it seems like sometimes it comes off that way). What I do think, is that we should all be more aware of some negative effects I think these new forms of communication can potentially have:
1. the replacement of face to face communication/relationships with digital ones. What Shane Hipps equivocated with cotton candy.
2. The fostering of insecurity in our relationships
3. wasting my time
4. Making it far to easy to look towards the "then and there" rather than take advantage of the "here and now" (ie. always wanting to know what's going on somewhere else (in case a friend is doing something more fun than you) instead of focusing on what you're doing at the present.

etc.

ok enough of that soap box.

I am beginning this blog for both selfish and unselfish reasons. This blog work kind of like a journal for me (I hope) and will later in life serve as something to help spark my memories of my time in Guatemala. I hope that it will foster real connections and communications with friends of mine. I really like email communication with people. I hope that this blog will sometimes inspire people to write me emails about what and how they are doing. I don't want people to think that somehow comments on this blog can replace personal communication via email. I can be the kind of person who needs positive feedback, so if one enjoys reading what I have to say, I hope they tell me so every now and then, and respond with something about themself. Also I hope everyone understands that I will try to make sure that, no matter how much I miss home, I will always try to make sure that I keep my heart and mind in Guatemala. I do not want to be physically in Guatemala and mentally in the states. Ok, so maybe my reasons are mostly selfish. WEll, I mean, I suppose the enlightening of the ignorant masses is pretty much the height of self-sacrifice... but you know, I guess that's just part of being a servant-leader and "champion of character."
I have really enjoyed reading other peoples blogs and I think it can be a good way to keep up with people who are close to you.

The weird thing about blogging is that, like mass emails, they are generally 100% about the writer. It can start to feel really egocentric (my experience with mass-emails). ANd I guess basically is. The reason is that the only thing that all the people this blog puts me in conversation with have 100% in common... is me. Which means, basically, that me is all I can write about. So, again if you want more personal contact, I suggest emails.

The blog is good because nobody is forced to read it, and so only people who are genuinely interested will read it.

ok, I'm gonna go buy a watermelon with my dad.

Jordan

ps. I am not in Guatemala yet

pps. WHen I was a kid I was really good at picking out watermelons. Right now, I have self-doubt.

Alternative title

2008-08-01T14:40:00.001-07:00

I was just listening to the song "Bold as Love" by Jimi Hendrix... a song that has slowly become one of my favorites. Maybe even top ten. It's only big detraction is that I still don't really know what it means, but I think that's ok. Anyways, inspired by the song, I actually made a blog entitled Bold as Love, but then I thought, "wait a second... what if that means something that I don't want it to mean, and I don't even really know what I would want it to mean, and I am just being seduced by a song right now. I should not name a blog I am already embarrassed about making by a name that might be further embarrassing." So I used the handy back button on my computer and created this blog using a boring yet safe title. I think the other blog actually still exists though. oh well.

YOu know, I've noticed that I use the phrase "oh well" a lot and that also happens to be a title of a good Fiona Apple song... hmmmm, do I smell another blog coming on... just kidding. But seriously, might be a good title.

Anyways, three separate people have told me to make a blog (without my asking them if I should) and since then I have brought it up with a few people and they all seem encouraging. I think this is good because now I don't have to write mass emails, which are kind of an interesting genre of letter-writing, but rather difficult. Adam Gaeddert tells me that he simply can't right mass emails. So anyways, this is a good solution that isn't offensive to anybody, and will probably be kind of fun for me. so here goes.